Today Iām going to admit something about my coaching.
Something that Iāve never told anyone in my entire 22 years in the coaching industry.
Coaching is a caring profession.
Most coaches are willing to give up their time, energy, and moneyā¦
ā¦to change someone elseās life for the better.
Despite that, some of Master Coach Universityās most advanced students act pretty selfish:
- Complaining
- Griping about petty grievances
- Passing judgment on clients and fellow students
Does it seem odd that coaches can come from such a selfish and judgemental place?
It never surprises me.
In fact, these coaches remind me of myself (at my worst) when I donāt get what I want.
I lash outā¦
I want to attackā¦
I get āpettyā…
ā¦so I can get what I selfishly want.
Iām justified, righteous.
Purely selfish.
Which is the opposite of the spirit of coaching, right?
I always thought I was motivated to make a difference and change lives.
I thought I was āMr. Altruismā.
But (years ago) my coach pointed out my selfish side.
She noticed that I was ātoo hungryā.
She askedā¦
āWhy are you so driven to ādo coachingā as a career?ā
āArenāt you already generous and giving in your own life?ā
I replied⦠āUh⦠not really, I guess.ā
And thatās when I realizedā¦
I was stingy, selfish, and egotistical throughout the other parts of my life.
Looking back, most of my life (up until that moment)ā¦
ā¦was all about ME!
Here are a few snapshots from my self-centered life:
I was a musician and performer who enjoyed the applause and glory of a crowd appreciating my art.

After that, I was a day-trader, greedily pursuing financial gains to enrich my account, buy fancy stuff, and impress others.
Fast forward to today?
Thereās still a gigantic self-serving part of meā¦
ā¦and that part still drives much of my ambitions.
Was my motivation to join such a generous, giving, and altruistic professionā¦
ā¦authentic?
Did I want to coach simply to LOOK generous and altruistic?
Did I sacrifice large sums of my time, energy, and money for the coaching professionā¦
ā¦so that I can LOOK more generous than I really am?
Did I do it all for the halo effect?
Am I just gaining influence through āvirtue signalingā?
Perhaps I just want to LOOK benevolentā¦
ā¦while deep down Iām really SELFISH.
Is my claim to altruism⦠bullshit?
How many other coaches (and aspiring coaches)…
ā¦are āwaiving the bannerā of altruism and generosityā¦
ā¦while, deep down, theyāre really TAKERS?
Iāve worked with quite a few coaches who are giving and generous.
But Iāve also worked with coaches who are 90% selfishā¦
ā¦and donāt even seem to care about their clients.
But all that is MY JUDGMENT.
āSELFISH = BADā is just knee-jerk judgment.
āSELFISH = BADā is just knee-jerk judgment.“
Weāre all selfish.
We have to be selfish, or else we couldnāt function.
The question isnāt whether coaches are selfish.
They are.
The question isnāt whether youāre selfish.
You are.
The question isā¦
ā¦how does your selfishness manifest?
What behavior does your selfishness amplify?
What emotion does your selfishness trigger?
What does your selfishness bring to your clients? ā¦to your life?
Some doctors save lots of lives through their own selfish motivationā¦
ā¦so selfishness canāt be such a bad thing, right?

(NOTE: If youāve been waiting to start your coaching business, or were wondering if you can do it profitably, then you need to watch this video. In the video, Iāll explain how to How to Build a Profitable Coaching Business in 30 Days. Click HERE now to watch the video.)
In fact, many coaches Iāve trained arenāt selfish enough.
Theyāre so worried about avoiding selfish tendenciesā¦
ā¦that they donāt reach out to coach anybody.
Why?
That coach didnāt want to do anything that could also benefit themselves.
They demonize their own selfishness.
They wonāt allow selfishness any space in their life.
I always instruct those coaches to stop judging themselves.
Those coaches need to stop making selfish āwrongā.
Those coaches need to be selfish enough to get out of bed in the morning and do their job.
Those coaches need to be selfish enough to reach out to that next coaching client.
If youāre not generous enough in your coaching, youāll failā¦
ā¦because you have to give so much in coaching.
But, if youāre not selfish enough, youāll ALSO failā¦
ā¦because you wonāt GET enough from coaching.
Part of the coaching business is about getting and receiving, not just giving and contributing.
Part of the coaching business is about getting and receiving, not just giving and contributing.”
Want proof?
Are you getting value from this email right now?
The fact is, Iām writing this entire email primarilyā¦
1. Because I want you to open itā¦
ā¦which gives me a better relationship within our email distribution domain (a key metric my business needs to optimize).
2. Because I want you to click the linksā¦
ā¦which gives better metrics, and gets you āhookedā on Master Coach Universityās teachings.
And, finallyā¦
3. Because (eventually) I want you to enroll in more of our programs!
My āselfishā motivation is probably making a difference for you.
(or else you wouldnāt have read this far!)
In fact, Master Coach Universityās own Associate Dean, Dr. Coiner, writes about the āpower of selfishnessā in your coaching HERE:
www.coachestrainingblog.com/becomeacoach/the-value-of-selfishness-in-coaching/
So, selfish motivations can clearly produce value for the world.
If youāre questioning, attacking, or demonizing your selfishnessā¦
STOP IT
The outcome of that selfishness is what mattersā¦
ā¦not the intent.
Donāt reject the emotions of selfishness.
Donāt reject the emotions of selfishness.”
Those emotions are there to serve you.
Donāt reject the mindsets of selfishness.
Thatās hardwired into every human being.
No one is innocent of their own self-serving āwiringā.
Thereās nothing ābrokenā about a selfish coach.
The sooner you stop judging yourself for selfishnessā¦
ā¦the sooner you can get to work and make things better.
THE POINT: Itās OK to embrace your selfishness.
Itās not wrong to follow your own wants and needs.
Then whatās the problem with selfishness?
Selfishness is limited in how much it can fulfill you.
Your selfishness alone will never truly satisfy you.
Selfishness alone usually limits the impact you make.
So, although I care about ME, my METRICS, and my ENROLLMENTSā¦
ā¦and thatās pretty much 100% selfishā¦
ā¦I also care about YOU winning your most valued aspirations in your coaching business.
ā¦I care about the impact YOU make on so many clients that Iāll never meet.
That expanded view was part of what motivated me to write this emailā¦
Add some intelligence, integrity, generosity, and larger view thinking to that selfishnessā¦
ā¦and you become a formidable coach.
Add some intelligence, integrity, generosity, and larger view thinking to that selfishnessā¦and you become a formidable coach.”
The coaches going through my advanced training right now are building the āmindset musclesā that make for a master coach.
My challenge is to help them see the larger picture.
ā¦to challenge them to build their generosity muscle.
Thereās no need to obliterate their selfishness.
The āselfish meā still shows up DAILY.
Iāve found ways to keep him in check.
Iāve found ways to be generous while partnering with the āselfish meā.
Sometimes, that inspires a coach to see the bigger āgenerosityā picture through our trainings.
A few students begin to believe that their generosityā¦
- Striving to helpā¦
- Putting out more energy than they get backā¦
- Putting themselves aside so they can truly serveā¦
ā¦is part of the āmindset muscleā they need to build.
Selfishness can’t stop youā¦
ā¦when you turn up the generosity.
But donāt forget to ātune upā your selfishness muscle.
Let it motivate you to make more happen for you and your coaching business.

Then, build your generosity muscle.
Your generosity creates irresistible attraction for positive things that flow from your good work.
Generosity and Selfishness are two essential motivations that drive your coaching business forward.
Too much of one of them, and itāll steer you off course.
The right amount of BOTH of them simultaneouslyā¦
ā¦and youāll be on track, full steam ahead.
You wonāt necessarily get what you selfishly desire right awayā¦
ā¦but youāll be more satisfied, fulfilled, and powerful than ever before.
ā¦your coaching business will be legendary.
Then, everyone (including you) will reap the rewards.
Jeffrey āSelfish Coachā Sooey
Leave a Reply