Last week, we talked about âgoing deepâ with your coaching clients.
The idea of pushing past the âpresented problemâ to see something deeperâŠ
âŠsomething profound, precious, rare
.âŠjust like you would dive beneath the surface to see beyond the âtip of the icebergâ.

HOW do you go deeper with your client?
Hereâs an example of a coaching model for going deeper.
I call it the Iceberg Model:

The Iceberg Model encompasses three âdomainsâ of experience.
Each domain can emerge in a coaching session.
You can coach inside of a single domainâŠ
âŠor coach to all three.
Domain #1: Conversation
Conversation is whatâs said and done on the SURFACE:
- What is the client saying?
- What is your client doing?
- What are other people saying?
- What are the people in your clientâs life doing?
If you recall your last coaching session like a movieâs plot points, youâre
recalling the CONVERSATION.
Domain #2: Being
Being is how your client shows up in lifeâŠ
âŠtheir mindset, their emotions, and whatâs really going on âdeep downâ.
Being is often thought of as an âinvisible x-factorâ.
Being is often thought of as an âinvisible x-factorâ.”
When you notice your clients attitude, demeanor, or toneâŠ
âŠyouâre seeing their BEING.
And although you can observe some aspects of your clientâs beingâŠ
âŠsome aspects of being can only be revealed to you by your client.
Think of âBeingâ as all the deeper meanings underneath the surface talk.
Think of âBeingâ as all the deeper agendas, feelings, and motivations behind the surface action.
Domain #3: Impact
Impact is the âdomino effectâ that stems from your clientâs Conversation and Being.
Think of the Impact as consequences… the âfruitâ of your clientâs labor.
Think of the Impact as consequences… the âfruitâ of your clientâs labor.”
In the largest scope, your clientâs entire life is the Impact of who theyâve been, and what theyâve done.
How do you use the âIceberg Modelâ to coach deeper?
Imagine your client tells you the followingâŠ
âI hate my mother because sheâs constantly trying to control me.â
âAnd my team at work⊠they are a bunch of unreliable morons. I need to
make them âfeel the painâ because they missed a major deadline the other day.â
âAnd my ex-husband is threatening me with a custody battle. If he wins,
Iâm going to make his life a living hell.â
âMy life is falling apart. Iâm just a horrible person. Whatâs wrong with me??â
(And, YES⊠These are things my clients have actually said to me.)

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What part of the âIceberg Modelâ is the client displaying to you?
If you said âConversationâ, you hit the nail on the head.
You can see your client isâŠ
- Talking to you about whatâs happening.
- Talking about their actions (and the actions of others).
- Talking to the people around them.
All these are forms of ConversationâŠ
âŠthe surface actionâŠ
âŠthings people are saying.
All these are forms of ConversationâŠthe surface actionâŠthings people are saying.”
This is your starting point.
Your client is engaging with you in the Conversation domain.
The problem you face?
Youâve got to move the coaching session BEYOND that Conversation.
And your clientâs whole life is positioned to MAINTAIN that conversation.
In fact, itâs likely that your client, their situation, and the people in their lifeâŠ
âŠare completely dominated by that Conversation.
Everybodyâs probably living in reaction to that Conversation.
Too many coaches chase after the âpresenting ConversationââŠ
âŠlike a dog chasing a bone.
Donât get hooked on the Conversation.
Donât get caught in reaction.
(Or, if you do, step away from the drama and cultivate a clean space for yourself.)
Youâre supposed to be their coach, remember?
âŠnot just another bystander.
BOTTOM LINE: If you get caught up in your client’s ConversationsâŠ
âŠthen that coaching session is just another reaction to the conversions around your client.
Then you join the rest of the window-dressing in your clientâs life, along withâŠ
âŠfriends that listen to their conversationâŠ
âŠand bystanders that watch their drama unfold.
Instead, flip the script, come from wisdom, and explore past the âtip of the icebergâ...
âŠthe domains that lie under the surface.
Whatâs beneath the surface?

In this orientation of the Iceberg Model, notice that both âBeingâ and âImpactâ are beneath the surface.
You could explore how your client is Being.
Thatâll open up a whole new domain for your coaching session with that client.
In this example, here are a few questions you could use to explore the âBeingâ domain:
- âHow are you being about your mother when she tries to control you?â
- âHow are you being about that deadline your team missed?â
- âWhy do you want your team to âfeel the painâ?â
- âWhy are you feeling that way about your ex-husband?â
- âWhat do you mean that youâre a horrible person? Why do you think that?â
- âWho are you being at work right now?â
- âWho is your mother to you?â
- âWho are you being in relation to your ex-husband?â
- âWhat are you really up to with your team?â
Notice that all these questions are pointing to
- How your client is showing up in life.
- Your clientâs emotion or mindset.
- Your clientâs attitude, demeanor, or tone.
- What your client is really up to âdeep downâ.
This exploration alone pushes the conversation deeperâŠ
âŠinto the Being domainâŠ
âŠa part of your clientâs life that they havenât yet explored with you.
Maybe your client is so caught up with the âConversationsâ in their lifeâŠ
âŠthat theyâre not even paying attention to who theyâre Being.
How is this client likely âBeingâ about their challenges?
Frustrated?
Angry?
Blaming?
Judgmental?
Maybe that way of Being is the source of the surface Conversation they shared with you.
Can you imagine how much value that insight might open up in the coaching session?
Who your client is Being (in relationship to those Conversations)…
âŠmight totally TRANSFORM their experience of the SAME CONVERSATION.
You could explore the Impact in your clientâs life.
Can you imagine the Impact this particular Iceberg might create?
Thereâs probably an Impact on your clientâŠ
âŠand their co-workers, mother, and ex-husband.
And Iâd bet this client hasnât completely considered the Impact.
How would we know?
Because if they thought deeply about these Impacts, they might stop their current Conversation.
Here are a few questions you could use with that client to explore the âImpactâ domain:
- âWhatâs the impact of this conversation on your life right now?â
- âWhatâs the impact of this missed deadline⊠on you⊠on your team⊠on your job?â
- âWhat will be the impact in the future if the conversation with your mother continues in this way?â
- âHow is all that working out for you currently?â
- âWhat do you experience when you think that youâre a âhorrible personâ?â
Exploring the Impact might help your client connect the dotsâŠ
âŠbetween the current Conversation in their lifeâŠ
âŠand the consequences of these Conversations.
There are lots of angles to the âimpactâ, but the common thread is THIS:
The impact always stems from a CAUSE or SOURCE.
Impacts donât exist in a vacuum.
These âdeeper domainsâ arenât always whatâs hidden, however.
Not every client will start their session with the surface level Conversation domain.
Your client could offer up ANY part of the icebergâŠ
âŠwhich âflips the icebergâ on its head.

That puts other parts of the Iceberg âunder the surfaceâ.
In these cases, flip the Iceberg ModelâŠ
âŠso whichever domain your client shares AT FIRSTâŠ
âŠis the âtip of the icebergâ… above the surface.
For instance, a client might approach you with a catastrophe in their lifeâŠ
âŠa death in the family, or the loss of a job.
They might be sad, scared, or depressed about the situation.
What are they sharing with you (or, at least, showing you) on the surface?
Sounds like the Impact.

Have you ever had a session like that?
Where your client was so wound up with the consequences in their life?
Some clients canât pry themselves away from the ImpactâŠ
âŠand theyâll run to you with their most recent drama.
Going deeper with that client means asking them different questionsâŠ
Questions about the Conversation domain.
Try:
- âWhat happened?â
- âWhat have you been doing about it?â
- âWhat do you think about whatâs happening?â
- âWhat do you have to say about it?â
- âWhat do your friends say about whatâs happening?â
- âWhat are you going to do next?â
- âWhat should you do about it?â
These are the kinds of questions Iâll ask a client whoâs wound up with the IMPACT.
Yes, Iâll ask these of a client whoâs in dire circumstances, or who was recently impacted by tragedy (with all due sensitivity, of course).
And, Iâm not saying âdonât be sensitive to your clientâs painâ.
Iâm saying âdonât leave them stuck there.â
Why is it important to explore the Conversation with a client stuck in the Impact?
Because a client stuck in the impact takes no action.
You wouldnât want to leave your client frozen, would you?
Conversations give your client access to transformation.
When the Conversation stopsâŠ
âŠprogress stops.
âŠcreation stops.
âŠpossibilities die.
Do you know someone who was impacted by tragic events and then their life went into stasis?
Theyâre living a âflat lineâ life nowâŠ
âŠand itâs not because of the tragedy.
Itâs because they got STUCK in the ImpactâŠ
âŠand no one pulled them out.
The people surrounding a client stuck in the Impact will walk around on pins and needles.
Youâll need to be the exception.
Have the conversation those others wonât have.
From time to time, youâll run across a âdream clientâ…
This client brings the âBeingâ domain to every session.
They might bring up their mindset, or their perspective, or who theyâre becoming in life.
Thatâs a great start.
Being can be the source of so much in your clientâs life.
Youâll likely want to explore the Impact and Conversation domains with that client.

Why would you need to explore further than âBeingâ?
Isnât âBeingâ as deep as you can go?
Not for this client.
Because Being without ActionâŠ
âŠand Being without appreciation of the consequences⊠is less than empowering.
So, while youâll still address that clientâs Being…
Inquire around whatâs happening (the Conversation domain).
Explore the Impact.
When your client brings up a goal, or problemâŠ
âŠno matter how intense the issue isâŠ
âŠdonât only REACT to it on itâs surface.
Find the deeper domain that cuts through to the breakthroughs and insights your client sorely needs.
That coaching conversation could be truly transformational for your client.
That coaching is worth a high fee.
That coaching is âhigh ticketâ.
The simple approach to going deeper?
Deep coaching is as simple as positioning that Iceberg Model in front of you, and thenâŠ
- Notice what domain your client brings to the session (thatâs the tip of the iceberg).
- Explore that domain.
- Ask questions that address the domains beneath the surface of the iceberg.
Look for what the client is not paying attention to.
What is the client not saying?
Find their âblind spotsâ.
Read between the lines.
Look beneath the surfaceâŠ
âŠbeyond the âtip of the icebergâ…
âŠtowards whatâs not yet explored.
Those blind spotsâŠ
Those deeper conversations and explorationsâŠ
Those icebergs that have so much beneath the surfaceâŠ
They’re just a few questions away.
And all youâve got to beâŠ
âŠis WILLING to ASK.
Jeffrey âAlways go Deeperâ Sooey
CEO, JTS Advisors
Founder, Coaches Training Blog community
Dean, Master Coach University
jeffrey@quickstartcoachingcode.com
858-707-5920
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