When you ask your client âWhat do you want to work on in your session today?â
What do they come up with?
âŠan audacious and inspiring goal or challenge?
âŠor a boring, impotent ânothing-burgerâ?
Most coaches eventually run a few âshallowâ sessions.
Remember the movie Shallow Hal?
âHalâ was only interested in how people looked on the surface.
It was limiting his love life.
Luckily, along came a âdeep coachâ, Tony Robbins (my original mentor and employer)…
âŠwho âcoachedâ him to look past the surface of a womanâŠ
âŠand see something deeper.
That âdeep coachingâ opened Hal to create connection and growth in his relationshipsâŠ
âŠthat wouldâve been impossible without that âdeeper viewâ.
Your job is to plunge beneath the surface of that icebergâŠand explore hidden depths with them.“
If your âshallow Halâ clients only see the âshiny objectsâ around themâŠ
âŠtheyâll miss out on the real âjuiceâ in their lives.
The same goes for their coaching sessions.
If you only cater to the âshiny surface objectsâ your clients dangle in front of youâŠ

âŠyour coaching sessions with them will beâŠ
Forgettable.
Inconsequential.
Mediocre.
Trivial.
âMehâ.
It reminds me of a coach who recently complained that her client used her sessions for âorganizational supportâ.
(like a human âto do listâ)
I asked âWhatâs your coaching fee?â
She said âIâm only charging $80 / month.â
I answered, âShe âs getting just about what sheâs paying for.â
ââMinor helpâ isnât the greatest aspiration you have for coaching your clients, is it?â
If you only do what your client asks forâŠ
âŠyou become your client’s âwaterboyâ (or âwatergirlâ?).
Not very powerful.
Not very valuable.
And not worth a substantial coaching fee.
Go deeper with your clients.
They should get way more value than that.
Imagine your client is this iceberg:

And they will only show you their âtipâ.
Your job is to plunge beneath the surface of that icebergâŠ
âŠand explore hidden depths with them.
What does that âdeeper valueâ REALLY look like?
Hereâs an example:
I just ran a coaching session with a consultant that felt a bit âstuckâ.
She said âI keep getting sucked into consulting work Iâm not passionate about.â
âI need help clarifying the kind of work I WANT to doâŠ
âŠversus the âlow hanging fruitâ gigs that I donât enjoy.â
At first, I dutifully asked her what those areas wereâŠ
âŠand she quickly proceeded to list them for me.
Job done, right?
She clarified her passion zones.
I delivered everything she had asked for in the coaching session.
And, I gave the client what she wanted.
The problem?
The âcoachingâ wasnât very valuable so farâŠ
I only asked her ONE questionâŠ
âŠthe answer to which she couldâve come up with BY HERSELFâŠ
âŠin five minutes!
This wasnât valuable enough for my standard of coaching.
So, I continuedâŠ
âYou gave me your answers so fast.â
âItâs obvious you already knew your âpassion zonesâ.â
âWhy havenât you already taken the time for yourself to write down those six passion zones?â
âWhy did it take a coaching session with MEâŠ
âŠfor you to make that simple list?â
She said – âI never bothered, because it seemed like it wouldâve been a waste of time.â
ME: âWhy?â
HER: âBecause I couldnât stop myself from taking all the wrong jobs in the past.â
ME: âWhy did you take the âwrong jobsâ?â
HER: âI guess I just didnât say ânoâ.â
ME: âWhy not?â
HER: âI wasnât very active in pursuing what I really wanted.â
ME: âIs there anything that would stop you from pursuing what you really want NOW?â
HER: âFinances.â
ME: âSo, whatâs REALLY stopping you from this perfect careerâŠ
âŠis the money??â
HER: âI really donât know.â
ME: âYou already knew what you love doingâŠ
âŠbecause you were able to come up with those passion zones in 30 seconds.â
âIt sounds like you never drew âa line in the sandâ for those passion zones, did you?â
HER: âThatâs true. But it feels weird saying ânoâ to a well-paying gig.â
ME: âWhat do you mean âit feels weirdâ?â
HER: âIt feels weirdâŠ
âŠnot doing the easy thingâŠ
âŠfor good money.â
We were starting to dive beneath the surface of her âicebergâ.

(NOTE: If you want to learn how to start your own coaching business, then check out this webinar, called “How to Start Your Coaching Business in 30 Days“ Â During the webinar, Iâll cover how to get your first paid clients fast and make it feel natural for you. Click HERE now to attend the webinar.)
It took NINE penetrating questions to get to the âgutâ of what was going on.
Those questions helped us exploreâŠ
âŠwhat would make the coaching session WAY more valuable.
And, ultimately, out of all that probingâŠ
âŠI discovered what was missing for her.
So I shared itâŠ
ME: âDonât you already know that living a life doing easy work that you hateâŠ
âŠis NOT what youâre up for?â
HER: âYeah, I know thatâŠ
âŠin my heart.â
ME: âThen you know it.â
âAnd NOW all youâve got to do is TELL THE REST OF YOU.â
âBecause your heart IS you.â
âThere are other parts of you that could argue against it.â
âYour âheadâ.â
âYour âfearâ.â
âBut youâve got to make sureâŠ
âŠyour heart WINS.â
âYouâve got to tell your âlizard brainâ that your spirit is just as important as finances.â
âYouâve got to tell your logical brain that itâs not âweirdâ to pursue what you love.â
âAnd, once all those parts of you are aligned with this directionâŠ
âŠyouâll draw a line in the sandâŠ
âŠand you wonât sell out on yourself ever again.â
Can you see why I didn’t just stop coaching once I gave her what she asked for?
Isnât the upside of digging deeper⊠obvious?
I kept pushingâŠ
âŠbecause catering ONLY to what your client asks forâŠ
âŠisnât what coaching is about.
I kept pushingâŠbecause catering ONLY to what your client asks forâŠisnât what coaching is about.”
Iâm NOT my clientâs âwaterboyâ.
And, as a coaching professional, I want to be worth my fee.
The questions I askedâŠ
The coaching I gaveâŠ
âŠwas way more valuable than just getting a few obvious answers.
Thatâs what coaching is really there forâŠ
âŠfinding the true, deeper, invisible value that your client would NEVER find on their own:
Thatâs what coaching is really there forâŠfinding the true, deeper, invisible value that your client would NEVER find on their own“
- Whatâs really important to your client?
- Whatâs really stopping your client?
- Whatâs really going on for your client?
- Whatâs this conversation about for your client?
- Who is your client⊠really?
- Whatâs your client missing?
- Whereâs your clientâs blind spot?
- What is your client hiding?
âŠand thenâŠ
What is your client going to do about it?
How many of those questions can you answer about your client?
How many of those spaces have you explored with your client?
Your client needs YOU for that kind of value.
Why would coaching clients never find that value on their own?
Because most clients get stuck on surface questions.
They get stuck at the surface because they arenât employing the courage or fortitudeâŠ
âŠto answer the deeper questions.
And some clients donât even know any deeper questions to ask!
Yes, âepic clientsâ WILL bring up very powerful spaces, questions, and explorations from the get-go.
But do you expect to ONLY attract those clients?
The clients that mostly ask for surface level âhelpâ…
The clients that focus on petty issues they should have resolved by themselvesâŠ
Clients like thatâŠ
âŠare a dime a dozen.
You will probably find at least a few of those clients in your coaching practice.
In fact, many new coaches attract ONLY those âshallowâ clientsâŠ
âŠnot the âdeep thinkersâ most coaches are inspired to work with.
Maybe you already go deep with your clients.
Maybe you always push past the âpresented problemâ to see something deeperâŠ
âŠsomething profound.
âŠsomething precious.
âŠsomething rare.
But if NOTâŠ
It’s time to take responsibility for more than just âcarrying your clients’ waterâ.
Itâs time to take responsibility for going deep with your clientâŠ
âŠwhether or not your client does it by default.
Donât beat yourself up for ânot going deepâ.
Serving your coaching client, even on the surface level, is truly admirable.
I hope youâre already proud of stepping up and making a difference at WHATEVER LEVEL you have so far.
Now, take your coaching deeper.
Itâs not your client’s job to deepen the conversation.
Itâs yours.
Thatâs what your client is counting on you for.
Instead of arguing that your client is uncoachable (like a lot of coaches do)…
âŠor not âready for coachingâ (the typical excuse of a lazy coach)…
GET TO WORK.
THE DEEP COACHING WORK
Prepare deeper questions.
Plan to explore deeper spaces with your client.
Itâs where all the value is in your coaching.
Jeffrey âAlways go Deeperâ Sooey
P.S. The second part of this discussion of deep coaching covers a full tutorial on how to approach deep coaching. Go HERE to read it.
Leave a Reply