Inner game coaching isn’t something that most clients know they need when they first come to a coach. A client often gets into coaching because he has some goal or another that he just can’t seem to accomplish. Or maybe she is just unhappy about something or someone in her life. Wherever the client may think the blame lies, as his coach, you need to know the same things that Professor Dumbledore knew: one, that your client created his own worst enemy, and two, how to defeat that enemy.
Creating Your Worst Enemy
In the game of life, we are often our own worst enemies. You’ve probably heard that aphorism before, and it’s certainly a useful one for an inner game coach to know. So how does it happen? How does your client create his worst enemy? He creates it at a young age without even knowing he’s doing it because of the way his child mind interprets things that people say and do. He sets up inner beliefs that act as filters for his experiences and that lead him to FEAR, or False Evidence Appearing Real. Then as an adult, the fears magnify. He fears not having his needs met or meeting them at a lower level. He fears change, not being enough and losing love. Your client needs inner game coaching to help him find what’s real. Without it, his fears will make him his own worst enemy. They can stop him in his tracks or send him to dead-ends or on detours so he will never reach his goals.
Use Inner Game Coaching To Defeat The Enemy
To defeat his internal enemy, your client needs a new mindset. That’s where inner game coaching comes into play. It starts with finding the beliefs that are limiting your client’s success and then transforming them to empowering alternative beliefs. Once the beliefs are transformed, work with your client to embed the new beliefs. Make sure never to end a session without a commitment from your client to take some action based in his new beliefs. Have him keep a journal or a record of his thoughts and actions that are consistent with who he is becoming. Set up accountability for him, and celebrate the changes with him.
Your client’s empowered mindset is what allows him to take action toward his goals in a powerful positive way. Your inner game coaching is the way to help him establish that mindset.
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Dorine G. Kramer
JTS Advisors Strategy and Accountability Coach