The GUILT in coaching is super-prevalent, and lots of new coaches ask me how to start coaching without feeling guilty. Here are a few coaching tips around the GUILT coaches feel:
The 2 Stages of “Coach Guilt”
When a new coach just starts out, the first stage goes as follows:
“I’m excited and can’t wait to help EVERYONE! How do I get my first coaching client?”
The second stage of coaching is a bit different:
You realize that not everyone wants help.
Some clients would rather stay miserable for the sake of “comfort”.
This is where you need to learn to walk away and not take any guilt along.
Why do Coaches Feel Guilty?
What’s this guilt about?
As a new coach, you may feel like you failed the client.
Perhaps you know you CAN help your client, but they just won’t accept it… Either they’re not ready or don’t think it’s possible. These insights don’t always overcome that ‘guilty feeling’.
What is guilt?
Guilt is really just FEAR of other people not loving or appreciating you, coupled with a feeling of sadness or regret for having treated others wrongly.
In terms of your coaching relationships, this guilt represents YOUR ATTACHMENT to some outcome for your client. Any attachment to your client’s outcomes only disempowers you as the coach in that relationship.
Your coaching power and well-being can’t hinge on some rigid idea of what must happen for your client.”
Your coaching power and well-being can’t hinge on some rigid idea of what must happen for your client.
That’ll make you crazy.
Once you can shed the attachment and expect NOTHING from any coaching interaction (except sharing your insight and gaining knowledge), you will experience FREEDOM from GUILT, REJECTION, and INSECURITIES.
In the meanwhile, you’re giving yourself the ability to serve your clients on a higher level.
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Writer, Coaches Training Blog community