One of the most common questions coaches and potential coaches ask is, “How do I become a coach who can make a difference in a client’s life in a single session?”  The key is a quick and accurate diagnosis.  Without it, all the life coaching training in the world won’t help you.

“How do I become a coach who finds out what their client really wants?”  The first answer is not always what your client really wants.  More often than not it is a smoke screen.  Follow up with questioning that helps you gain a deeper understanding.  Ask question such as , “Why is that important to you?”  “What will it mean to you when you achieve that?”

The next step is to ask, “How do I become a coach who finds out what their client really needs?”   Give your client a little life coaching training on the 4 basic human needs:

Significance:  The need to feel important, needed, wanted and worthy.

Love/Connection:  The need for feeling connected with and loved by others.

Certainty:  The need for security, comfort and consistency.

Variety:  The need for challenge or a variation in experiences.

After their life coaching training on these needs, have your clients rank where they feel each need is being met on a scale of 0-10 right now.  What needs aren’t being met by their current behavior?  Which needs will be met at a higher level when they achieve their goals?

Often when coaches get to this point they ask themselves, “How do I become a coach who can figure out what is preventing them from getting what they need?” One important piece of life coaching training is to understand how they are currently getting their needs met.  What they are doing now?  Are they walking on eggshells around their spouse?  Hiding from the world by being dishonest with who they really are and showing up wearing a mask?  Once you are clear with that, find out what their fuel of choice is.  Think of the fuel as an emotional pattern, beliefs, language patterns, or physiology (heart rate, movement patterns and posture, the way they breathe).   For example, when faced with an obstacle or challenge does your client go into a fearful pattern or burst out in anger?

At last you are ready to ask, “How do I become a coach who can relate the diagnosis to ask significant emotional events or wounds.  Is your client more certainty driven from a loss of a parent at a young age?  Or does your client protect himself from a painful past event by going into an angry pattern and looking for significance?

Once you have all this information, it’s just a matter of connecting the dots to find the core issue.  Then you can use your life coaching training to help your clients make a powerful change.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach