Sometimes the biggest challenge to your coaching competency is dealing with the Doubting Thomas; those whiners and complainers who just don’t believe coaching works, or worse, that your coaching works!

2 Types of Doubting Thomases

* Those who stay away from coaching

* Those who hire coaches.

The first type, the ones who avoid coaches at all cost, are no problem. As coaches, you never see them, so they don’t bother you. It’s the second type, the ones who whine and complain, but continue to hire coaches, who are the real pains in the, er…neck. These are the ones who truly test a coach’s competency!

The origin of the term, Doubting Thomas, comes from the biblical account of Thomas, one of the Apostles, who doubted Jesus’ resurrection from the dead. But here, the term is used to refer to those people who doubt the effectiveness and competency of coaching. Specifically, YOUR coaching competency!

The First Thing You Should Do When Dealing With a Doubting Thomas

You should ask a question – preferably an easy general question. Something such as, “How are you?” Simpler is better. By asking a question, you should be able to find out what type of person you are dealing with.

Someone who is generally a positive person will usually give you a brief, concise answer. This person may be exhibiting some negativity because they are going through a tough time or have a pressing personal issue. This person can be called an optimistic Doubting Thomas and is the perfect candidate for good coaching

If someone gives you a long, complicated answer, that usually means you are dealing with a negative person who views the world pessimistically. This is a pessimistic Doubting Thomas, and is a trickier person to work with and requires your best coaching competency.

Coaching Competency: Dealing With the Optimistic Doubting Thomas

With an optimistic doubting Thomas, it is important to find out what has caused the recent negativity. Finding the problem through a series of questions will allow you to phrase the problem in recognizable and easy to comprehend terms. Having a detailed description of the problem makes identifying a solution much easier. Constantly framing and reframing the problem with pertinent questions will help the client see the issue more clearly and may eventually lead to the client finding his own solution. Whether you find the solution, or the client finds it with a little assistance from you, it will help that doubting client see the true value of your coaching.

Coaching Competency: Dealing With the Pessimistic Doubting Thomas

Dealing with the pessimistic Doubting Thomas is harder than the optimist. Trying to change them is like trying to change someone’s political party or religion. It certainly won’t happen in a day and may never happen. So, don’t try to completely change them. Be happy if you get them to move just a little!

If they get mad and want to vent, vent right along with them. If they are mad at their employer or the government or a relative, get mad with them. Join them in cursing out whomever it is they are cursing out. Knowing that you are on their side may cause them to open up and be more responsive to your coaching.

Once you have vented with them, you can then, in a calmer and more peaceful environment, try to solve their issues. You can’t fix all their problems, as a pessimist will have an unending supply of issues, but you can address one or two of them. When you offer reasonable solutions to fixable problems, the pessimistic Doubting Thomas may see how valuable you are as a coach.

At some point in your coaching career, you will need to deal with a Doubting Thomas and prove your coaching competency. Identify what type of doubter they are: optimistic or pessimistic. Then deal with them in the appropriate manner. Your coaching competency will determine how well you deal with these doubters and overcome their negativity toward coaching. Turning a Doubting Thomas into a fan of coaching will surely increase your client base and help you make more money as a coach!

Hope you took some great value out of this post today! I’d love to hear your feedback, so make sure you leave a comment with your thoughts or questions. And also, you can click on the Twitter button below to retweet this article…Thank you!

Fred Philips
Business Coach
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