To paraphrase something a Greek philosopher once said, something that is vitally important for coaching communication competence; we have two ears and only one mouth – we should be listening twice as much as we speak.

The #1 Tip to be an Superstar Coach

Listen. Yes, the most important, numero uno, top dog of all skills to learn if you want to be the greatest coach of all time, is to listen. Ok, the greatest coach of all-time was a bit of hyperbole, but if you listen, you will be a very competent and successful coach. Your competence at listening will make you a superstar coach!

Coaching communication competence is sometimes an overlooked part of your training as a coach. You learn motivational techniques, promotional strategies and coaching methods – all very important to the success of your business. However, the way we communicate, and the way we listen, are skills that sometimes get lost in this fast-paced, sound-bite era.

The 2 Most Skills for Coaching Communication Competence

• Hearing
• Listening

Yes, you read that correctly. You need to hear the words your client is saying, but hearing is not listening. You need to go a step further and LISTEN.

There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is often only a passive exercise, while listening is an active endeavor. Good coaching requires you to be an active listener.

One More Coaching Communication Competence Tip

Be an active listener by the following rules:

• Don’t think you know what your client is saying after only a few sentences.
• Don’t formulate your rebuttal before the client finishes speaking.
• Don’t judge what your client is saying until the end. The intent and meaning of what a client is saying is often clarified or summarized by the whole of what they say, not in the first few sentences.
• Listen to the tone in their voice. Listen for emphasis, sarcasm, hesitation, and other subtleties that often give clues to the true meanings of the words.

Let’s go back to that old saying – you have two ears and one mouth. I think the old Greek philosopher who came up with this one forgot to add another body part with which we listen. Our eyes. Yes, we can also listen with ours eyes. Coaching communication competence requires us to use our eyes.

We use our eyes to “listen” to a person’s body language. Body language includes the way they sit or stand, how much they fidget, and their facial expressions. There is an entire body of science created around the meaning and interpretation of body language.

Remember that body language is an important part of active listening. We use our eyes to capture a client’s body language. In effect, we are listening with our eyes. So, let’s make that old saying – We have two ears, two eyes, and one mouth – we should be listening four times as much as we speak. Powerful coaching communication competence depends on listening with our ears AND our eyes.

Though a coach’s communication competence includes how they talk and listen, it is much easier to find advice and information on what to say to clients. Listening is the forgotten component of coaching communication. But, if you remember it and put an emphasis on learning how to listen, instead of just hearing, you will undoubtedly become a more effective coach; one to whom the clients LISTEN!

Fred Philips
Business Coach
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