The key to success as a relationship coach is to provide results, and your relationship coach salary depends on it.  If you can take a couple from the brink of divorce into a loving relationship your provide a priceless service.  And your relationship coach salary should reflect that. Think of all the money you can save a couple in legal fees, lifestyle changes running two separate households, and not to mention the emotional turmoil for each party. However, there are 3 things you must never do as a relationship coach.

A Relationship Coach that Provides a Priceless Service Must NEVER Take Sides

The first thing you should never do as a relationship coach is to take sides.  This sounds reasonable, but it’s harder to put into practice when you are only coaching one half of the problem.  Let’s face it, it can be tough not to buy into your client’s story if that’s the only reference you’re hearing.  But if you fall for that, you’re no better than a friend and few people will feel that contributing to your relationship coach salary is necessary.

Your Relationship Coach Salary Depends on You Getting to the Bottom of Your Client’s Problem but Not Solving it For Your Client

The next thing you must never do as a relationship coach is to try to solve your client’s problem.  Remember that your client’s basic needs are being met by being in this predicament.  Find out what’s the payoff and help them meet their needs at a higher level by giving them some empowering alternatives.  For example, what if your client is trying to get significance from the relationship by being angry and bitter when all they want is love and connection?  If you start trying to solve your client’s problems, you will never be the one person who can really make a lasting difference.  Finding out their beliefs, language patterns, and how they physically express themselves will, not only make you stand above the rest, but also justify your relationship coach salary.

Become a Relationship Coach that Does More than Just Listen, Instead Direct the Conversation in Order to Make Progress

The last thing you must never do as a relationship coach, if you want to receive a relationship coach salary, is to just listen to your client’s story.  Many good relationship coaches fall for this and get caught up in this trap.  These coaches complain that their clients “Just talk and I can’t seem to break in without seeming rude or uncaring.”  You are the leader, and if your client is taking you on an exursion without a destination it is your responsidblty to bring your client back.  The moment you start asking yourself, “Where is this going?”  start clarifying and seek to really understand what is behind this smoke screen.

If you can avoid these 3 pitfalls, you will not only have success as a relationship coach but you’ll be able to command a respectable relationhsip coach salary.  Remember that you’re the leader and you can make a powerful diffence.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach