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The Odd Fact About Doubts in Your Coaching Practice

October 19, 2021 by Colette Coiner, PCC Leave a Comment

Do you want to know the best way to build your coaching business?

The fastest way?

The easiest way?

The least expensive way?

That’s what I wanted, too…

And, here’s the problem…

People would tell me the answer…

…and at first, I was happier than a dog with a new bone…

Little dog w/ big bone

…but their answer was never enough.

And eventually, I realized the truth…

Looking for the perfect answer in your coaching business is exactly how to fail.

I know from personal experience.

I’m a recovering perfectionist.

One evening when I was in high school, I ran sobbing to my father,

“I’m failing out of school!”

I can’t even remember why I was so beside myself… I just felt like I wasn’t doing enough.

One week later, I brought home my report card with all A’s…

…and a single B…

Why was I such a drama queen?

Because I thought anything less than perfect was a ‘fail’.

And I hate to admit that I still felt that way only a few years back.

In school, we’re taught that the ‘right answer’ is the key to success.

So, when you decide to start your coaching business, your brain wants to find the perfect answer again (just like in school)…

But building a coaching business, and getting ‘A’s’, are two entirely different skills.

In your coaching business, there is no ‘perfect answer’, so searching for perfection just wastes your time.

In your coaching business, there is no ‘perfect answer’, so searching for perfection just wastes your time.”

The game of your coaching business is about trying and testing your ideas as efficiently as possible so you get across the finish line.

This is why so many great coaches are poor.

They are trying to get ‘A’s on a wild-west racetrack.

Barrel racing

The Problem With Perfection = Doubt

If you want to build something you’ve never built before (like a new coaching business), there are no solutions for your brain to reference.

So, your brain doesn’t know whether the journey is going to be safe or not.

So, doubts arise.

And, when in doubt, your brain defaults to fear.

Your brain looks to the past for answers, and, after spending so much time in school…

…it’s normal to expect ‘academic’ thinking to help us do other things.

But the fatal flaw in applying ‘academic’ thinking to your coaching business…

…is that you’ll think you need to find the right way,

…the best way,

…Dare I say, the “Perfect” way to coach.

…The “Perfect” way to start your coaching business.

You’ll feel uncertain as long as you think there is a ‘right answer’.

And when you can’t find one…

You get ‘stuck’ (as coaches like to say).

The truth is, you’re NOT STUCK.

You’re only ‘stuck ON’ finding the ‘right answer’.

But, because you can’t find the ‘right answer’ (remember, it doesn’t exist?), you’ll probably blame yourself.

You might tell yourself that something is wrong with YOU.

…That you aren’t enough.

…That you aren’t ready.

…That you need a website (or another certification).

…(Insert your own go-to excuse or self-doubt here).

Epic stuckness.

Bottom line… you can either stay in the same place without taking action toward your dream of having a coaching business…

While you watch other coaches enjoy success…

Or…

…you can acknowledge and accept that your feelings of uncertainty are completely normal.

Then you can embrace uncertainty…

…instead of hiding behind mountains of busy work so you look like you’re making progress.

(NOTE: If you want to learn how to start your own coaching business, then check out this webinar, called “How to Start Your Coaching Business in 30 Days“  During the webinar, I’ll cover how to get your first paid clients fast and make it feel natural for you. Click HERE now to attend the webinar.)

How to Make Imperfect Progress

How do you try and test ideas efficiently to get across the finish line?

You find a new way to think about fear so you can embrace your feelings of doubt and uncertainty…

Some thoughts that help me are…

  • Fear is normal.
  • Fear can’t hurt me.
  • I don’t need to know all the steps, just the next one.
  • Produce it first, then perfect it.

Don’t underestimate ‘little thoughts’ like these.

These new thoughts are stepping stones.

Each new thought is a building block toward a totally new mindset that allows you to authentically break through fear…

…instead of running from, or shoving your feelings.

…instead of ‘white-knuckling’ your way through your feelings.

A new thought like this will help rewire your brain with practice.

Colette “Drama Queen” Coiner

Dr. Colette Coiner, PCC, PT, DPT, FAAOMPT

Associate Dean, Master Coach University
drcolettecoiner@coachestrainingblog.com
858-232-3739

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