Sometimes valuable relationship coaching lessons pop up at the oddest moments. A few years ago a 2 year-old boy was staying at our house for an extended period. He happily played with my daughter toys; including the miniature kitchen, dolls, and strollers. One day my husband said that if this little guy was going to stay with us, he needed to have some “boy” toys. I was shocked, and a little resistant. Why was this a big deal?

The Biggest Relationship Mistake Women Make

We, as women, are so often focused on having the men in our lives be sweet, caring, and romantic that we neglect to appreciate the other side. The masculine side. The side that attracted us in the first place. Many times as women we even try to squash that side and try to get the men in our lives to be our best friends. We encourage them to be more like a best girlfriend than a man. We walk all over them and wonder where the romance went.

Can Relationship Coaching Make a Difference?

Fortunately, if one person commits to coaching it is possible to turn a roommate back into a lover. In order to restore the attraction, you need to encourage your clients to embrace their differences. Don’t make men eat quiche when they would rather barbeque. Personally I don’t really understand the fascination with fire; it must be some primal instinct. If you can get your relationship coaching clients to find ways to support their spouse in their gender role, however, you will often quickly see a shift in the relationship. It doesn’t mean women need to drink beer and sit on the sofa all day watching the games and acting more masculine; it just means allowing boys to be boys in their own unique way.

Colette Seymann
JTS Advisors Bi-Designated Strategy and Accountability Coach.