It’s males versus females in the relationship coach training class. Get a ring-side seat and enjoy all the thrills!

If your relationship coach training didn’t include a class on males versus females, you missed out on one key ingredient of your training. One ingredient you will need in your relationship mentoring business.

Relationship coach training should include:

•  How to coach relationships – healthy relationships, conflict resolution, communication skills, and more.
• Personal issues for coaches – boundaries, ethics, intuition, creativity, and more.
• Methods and strategies to set up your business
• Effective methods to market and promote your business.
• MALES VERSUS FEMALES

Should Relationship Coach Training Should Teach More About Males vs. Females?

Though you may offer counseling of same-sex couples, the bulk of business for most coaches will be heterosexual couples. This means males versus females. Ok, before the politically correct pundits climb on my back, relationships aren’t really about males VERSUS females, but they are often about the differences between males and females. And sometimes those differences become antagonistic. To be an effective couples mentor, you must delve deeply into those differences.

Now, that I’ve dug myself a deep PC hole, I dig a little deeper and cover myself with dirt by offering some generalizations and stereotypical assumptions about the two genders.

Females are defined by a web of connections and are more relationship oriented. Males are defined by a hierarchy of connections and are more results oriented. Taking an example from sports, we can say that male athletes respond better to challenges made to their manliness and pleas to win the battle. Women athletes respond more positively to pleas that they carry their part of the load or that question their commitment to the team effort.

Yell at men to succeed and throw some guilt a woman’s way. Results for men, relationships for women. Of course, in your practice, you’re not yelling at anyone, but you should be using these generalizations as a basis of bringing couples closer together. Your relationship coaching training probably didn’t teach you about these stereotypes, did it? Too PC for that.

Another aspect of the male/female dichotomy is that females tend to internalize while men externalize things. However, women tend to talk about their problems while men ignore them. Basically this means that women ask for directions while men will drive in circles for hours before stopping to ask which way. But, the woman will talk about how she couldn’t find the location, while the man with keep his frustration bottled up inside.

One More Generalization about Men and Women

Men bond with each other through action while women bond with each other through interaction. As a coach, you need to create a bond with your clients; use this one generalization to create strong bonds with both the male and the female, but don’t let them know the basis of your training is stereotypes!

Have you learned those generalizations in your relationship coach training? If not, it’s time to learn them now and begin using them in your practice. Of course, you cannot bring up the fact that you are basing your strategy on generalizations when working with couples. But, you can formulate strategies and create role play scenarios that work with these general assumptions to help couples achieve happiness. Their happiness means your success!

Fred Philips
Business Coach
Writing Team, Coaches Training Blog Community