Relationship Coach Basics: Male and Female Polarity

You don’t have to be a relationship coach or a physics professor to know that opposites attract.  However, the first step in how to become a relationship coach is to completely understand the difference between masculine and feminine polarity.  One of the biggest problems a relationship faces over time is the loss of polarity. As man and woman become more similar, the attraction diminishes, and what was once exciting becomes dull.  But, a good relationship coach teaches couples that it doesn’t have to be that way.  Here’s how to become a relationship coach who understands the cause and the solution.

Three Steps that Demonstrate How to Become a Relationship Coach that Helps Couples Find Excitement in Their Relationship

Step 1:  How to Become a Relationship Coach Who Understands Masculine Energy.

Masculine energy is about directed force.  Think about our hunter/gather ancestors.  The men went out with their spears, stalked their prey, and used all their energy to throw their spears to make a kill and bring home food.  The masculine man is all about getting that ultimate “touchdown” in whatever form that is.  He is signficance driven.  He wants power and to see that power grow.  This is the male “ego.”  He is also certainty driven.  Like an immovable rock, he wants to be centered and solid.  A relationship coach understands that without masculine energy, feminine energy is diminished.

Step 2:  How to Become a Relationship Coach Who Understands Feminine Energy.

Feminine energy is also about power, although her type of power is not as focused.  It is much more flowing and free.  When a woman with this type of energy walks into a room, it effects the whole room.  The feminine side of a woman is driven by love, connnection and variety.  While masculine energy is centered, feminine energy is stormy and exciting.  This is drive for variety is why woman get bored easily, and it is what allows them to multi-task.  Women have all this freedom, but are looking for some contraints that create certainty.  A relationship coach knows that this is why she looked for a relationship in the first place.

Step 3:  How to Become a Relationship Coach Who Understands the Need for Polarity.

What often happens when a man and woman unite is that the man tries to solve a woman’s problems when she really just wants to connect.  Sometimes a man will actually try to impose his own masculine style on a woman’s style, resulting in a solution to one problem but creating it’s own.  When a woman gets praise for becoming more masculine in her approach, she tends to loose some of her feminine energy.  This also can happen in reverse.  A woman might chip away at that tough masculine shell over time, causing him to soften and become more feminine.  As their differences become more narrow, the natural exciting polarity that once brought them together starts to fade.

As a Relationship Coach it is Your Job to Help Your Client Re-Discover Polarity

The key to become a relationship coach who can bring back the sparks in a relationship is to help couples respect and relate to each other’s primary masculine or feminine traits.  While it’s true that no one is completely masculine or feminine, without these differences relationships become friendships.  But as a relationship coach, you know that it doesn’t have to be so.  With proper care, that spark can last a lifetime.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach