If you’re not coming from a superior posture as a relationship coach, it doesn’t matter what you say.  You could use the fanciest technology, but people won’t even hear you.  In their mind you’re not the one to listen to.  The good news is that at the beginning people will give you some attention for free, without you being an authority.  There’s time to figure out how to become a relationship expert in their eyes.

As a New Relationship Coach You Can Become a Resource to Your Prospects

There are ways how to become a relationship expert, even if you’re just starting out as a relationship coach.  One way is to become a resource to your prospects.  When you give information away and it’s new to them; it’s valuable.  Especially if that information is relatively rare and not easily found.   You want to make sure that the information you give is the best you have.  Sure, you run the risk that people might just take the information and move on.  But most people won’t be able to implement it on their own.  They’ll still need a relationship coach.

Name Dropping Combined with Teaching Moments Can Help You with How to Become a Relationship Expert

Another way how to become a relationship expert or at least position yourself as a relationship coach who knows his stuff, is by name dropping.  For example, my mentor Jeff Sooey, who learned from his mentor (a certain celebrity guru), taught me that I should work on creating a raving fan out my husband by giving to him what he needed first.  Ultimately this simple strategy causes the partner to reciprocate.  The name or group carries a ton of authority with your prospect.  You don’t want to just say, “I learned how to become a relationship expert from studying with this guru.”  You need to combine the association with a teaching moment.

Relate with Your Prospects Through Stories – You Become Not Only a Relationship Coach but a Person, Too

You can also learn how to become a relationship expert who demonstrates their knowledge through stories.  The story can be about someone you worked with or even yourself.  Communicating that before you became a relationship coach you used to be like them and that you understand their fears, hopes and desires can be very powerful if you’re living proof of a transformation.  It doesn’t have to take longer than 3-5 minutes.

The key to how to become a relationship expert is for people see you as the leader.  Even if it’s just by having a lot of comments posted on your blog.  Suddenly people start to see you as an expert.  They think, “Wow!  All these people are paying attention to what this person is saying.”  This strategy also works with public speaking and conference calls.   If you can convey valuable information to people in a way that they see you as an expert, they will just naturally see you as the relationship coach who can help them reach their goals.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Bi-Designated Strategy and Accountability Coach