If you want to become a relationship coach, you can gain a lot of understanding of the human heart and mind by studying Shakespeare’s writings. I just read an article based on a quote from Othello in “Shakespeare in Modern Life” at Examiner.com. The quote starts “She loved me for the danger I had passed….” Now granted, the language is not modern–you might on occasion even require help to get the meaning. But Shakespeare understands the emotions and motivations in relationships.
What Do You Need To Become A Relationship Coach?
No matter what field of coaching you go into, cultivating the know, like, and trust triad has to be first on your agenda. Then to become a relationship coach, you need not only to hone your coaching skills and strategies, but also to develop a deep understanding of what makes relationships work or fail. You need to become a super sleuth: spot the patterns in the way a couple interacts and listen for what isn’t being said. Use assessments to help explain and defuse differences in the ways your clients communicate, and in their comfort zones regarding planning, socializing and decision making. When you become a relationship coach, you are in a position to show that each partner is acting according to his or her nature and not just being perverse. That knowledge, in itself, can go a long way toward repairing a relationship.
What Does Othello Have To Do With Relationship Coaching?
“She loved me for the dangers I had passed,
And I loved her that she did pity them.”
The dangers refer to the war time experiences of the character, Othello, which his wife, Desdemona, has not personally experienced. This brief quote encapsulates much of the material you use with your clients when you become a relationship coach. It references the feminine vs. the masculine characteristics of the couple–he conquers danger and she feels sympathy and understanding for him having to do so. At the same time it talks about his dark forceful energy and her light emotional energy–an important balance in a relationship. And it explains that they love each other because of, and not in spite of, these differences.
Shakespeare didn’t become a relationship coach, but he has a lot to offer if you want to broaden your understanding of how and why people love and hate. Pay extra attention next time you have the opportunity to enjoy one of Shakespeare’s works in print or on stage. You might find something you can use with your clients!
Dorine G Kramer
JTS Advisors Strategy and Accountability Coach