One of the most controversial coaching questions is whether coaching can help people reach their goals of being happy? A better coaching question is what is happiness and how do you achieve it. According to Stephen P. Robbins PhD’s book, “The Truth about Managing People and Nothing but the Truth,” there is a happiness gene. Robbins goes on to say that 80 percent of people’s differences in happiness are attributable to their genes.

Is Happiness Genetically Determined?

Some people are just naturally more friendly, positive, and happy than others. Robbins advocates that based on research it is important to focus on hiring people with positive dispositions rather than spending dollars on training staff to “motivate” and shape behavior. It’s an uphill battle and most programs don’t change behavior. It’s an uphill battle for coaches. My mentor told me that it’s easier to ride stallions than to drag nags.

The Best Answer May Be Asking Your Clients Coaching Questions

I tell potential clients that I don’t coach everyone. Not everyone is motivated enough, determined enough, or even interested in reaching their goals. One of the coaching questions I use is to ask potential clients if they want me to be their coach. I don’t let them get by with answers like, “Sure, but…” It’s a yes or no question and it separates the people who are not really committed. I can take someone to a place of significant emotional pain visualizing what will happen if they don’t take immediate action and have them realize during a call that as bad as it may be, they don’t really want to change. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. The same with coaching. It’s ok, because there are plenty of people who are ready to go right now.

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Colette Seymann
JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach