{"id":28205,"date":"2022-10-11T22:29:35","date_gmt":"2022-10-12T06:29:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/?p=28205"},"modified":"2023-01-19T07:29:47","modified_gmt":"2023-01-19T15:29:47","slug":"the-introverted-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/the-introverted-coach\/","title":{"rendered":"The Introverted Coach"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A new coaching student just quit <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">because they\u2019re afraid to talk to people<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And it reminded me how DEADLY fear is to a coaching business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The truth is\u2026 even after 22+ years of full-time professional coaching\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>I\u2019m STILL <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">afraid<\/span> to talk to you.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps most coaches don\u2019t have this fear of talking to people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Meeting people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026and, yes, COACHING people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But I certainly DO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>So <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">why am I still here<\/span>, a successful coach\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Fear chart\" class=\"wp-image-28206\" srcset=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO-640x360.jpg 640w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u2026while <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">other coaches quit<\/span> due to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fear<\/span>?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I still had to BATTLE my fear of talking to people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>In my first year coaching, I\u2019d hear the phone ring with a client\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">feel a JOLT of FEAR<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All my anxieties\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">screwing up<\/span> the session<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>my client <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">hating (or rejecting)<\/span> me<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>meandering into nowhere with the client\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026got stirred up, all at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And these were coaching clients that Tony Robbins (my boss at the time) was GIVING to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>I <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">didn\u2019t even have to enroll<\/span> them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Years later, when I went into coaching for myself\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>\u2026I had to make <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">hours of outgoing calls<\/span> to schedule discovery sessions.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This was something I did only after <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">hyperventilating<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Somehow, each week, I <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">suffered through 4 or 5 hours of \u2018outreach\u2019,<\/span> <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">rejection<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">uncertainty<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u2026talking to prospective clients <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">who didn\u2019t always want to talk to ME<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>And then there were the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">KEYNOTES<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">workshops<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">speeches<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Running a workshop for 20 made me anxious\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026but giving <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">a keynote speech for 500<\/span> or more?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026THAT was something that I wouldn\u2019t want to put you through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">terror<\/span>, the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">sweating<\/span>, the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">nervousness<\/span>, the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">nausea<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I got through the fear\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026but not always \u2018pleasantly\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Think most coaches aren\u2019t afraid to talk to people?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In fact, they WANT to talk to people, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In my experience of working with thousands of coaches\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u2026at least <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">ONE THIRD of the coaches I\u2019ve worked with<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u2026are <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">introverted<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">reclusive<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u2026and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">scared<\/span> of people.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In my experience of working with thousands of coaches\u2026<strong>at least <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">ONE THIRD of the coaches I\u2019ve worked with<\/span>\u2026are <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">introverted<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">reclusive<\/span>\u2026and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">scared<\/span> of people.<\/strong>&#8220;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some of them are good at <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">hiding it<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026keeping a stiff upper lip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026acting <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">confident<\/span> or even <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">bragging<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But <strong>fear <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">haunts<\/span> these coaches.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Fear-driven coaches still have something to offer\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They really are hungry to give their gifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So many of these coaches <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">dream of overcoming their fear<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>How did I overcome my \u2018fear of people\u2019?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>1. <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Dance<\/span> With Your Fear<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dancing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026and I don\u2019t mean \u2018figurative\u2019 dancing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/dance-w-fear-sm2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"349\" height=\"233\" src=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/dance-w-fear-sm2.jpg\" alt=\"Jeff dancing\" class=\"wp-image-28207\" srcset=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/dance-w-fear-sm2.jpg 349w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/dance-w-fear-sm2-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I mean <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">physical dancing<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dopey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Two-left-foot\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dancing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/sm168.keap-link017.com\/v2\/click\/bc633bc29ea182e795a54bf196fb0c01\/eJyNkE0LgkAQhv_LnCXtQzMhQsJisTyE0TFMB1yqdVlnAxP_e2tFp4Ku8z7zDO-0QCgyQayAAOrr0PPBAoU5lxwFLStBWf4MJ64_HVlw4eK8VpWWELTfVj95Px17I8exgBqJBkl34TJmyfq4YUlsUJkpc-Ifj-vMpq73EUXbkG2g636a8copuhl5DQEpjX2jgptWtFcXw5dEsg5su6k06cEJ7YNf3vWq0CmLFjQfOhMjyaREUbw_EGPzUnUPkoth6g==\"><strong>Moving my body in crazy ways<\/strong><\/a> was only part of the dance routine, however.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s also VERBAL dancing\u2026 saying crazy things, yodeling, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And there\u2019s VISUAL dancing\u2026 visualizing outrageous images, people, and events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>All that \u2018dancing\u2019 <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">overrides fear, erases anxieties<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">reprograms you<\/span> for extroversion\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u2026at least, temporarily.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most people program their brains for <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">shy<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fearful<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">controlled<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">weak<\/span> performance (through their body, speech, and internal visions).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why not program yourself to be <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">courageous<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fun<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">energetic<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">playful<\/span>, etc.?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All it takes is using your BODY, SPEECH, and THOUGHTS in those ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>2. <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Organize<\/span> Your Fear<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fear usually thrives off <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">uncertainty<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">unpredictability<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">lack of control<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fear usually thrives off <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">uncertainty<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">unpredictability<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">lack of control<\/span>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>When you <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">take control back<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u2026the fear <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">diminishes<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">organize your fear<\/span> of talking to (or coaching) people\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026build <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">structures<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">schedules<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">systems<\/span> that support you in facing that fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Schedule the conversation<\/span> so you can\u2019t weasel out of it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Script<\/span> (or bullet-point) the conversation.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Outline<\/span> the process leading up to your fear.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Practice and prepare<\/span> for the coaching.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Systemize<\/span> the hardest parts of meeting a client.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These structures help in several ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>SCHEDULING guarantees you\u2019ll <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">face your fear<\/span>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>SCRIPTING, OUTLINING, and SYSTEMIZING gives you \u2018guard rails\u2019 <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">so you have a sense of control<\/span>\u2026 lowering the \u2018uncertainty factor\u2019.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>PRACTICING and PREPARING <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">makes the fear less unfamiliar<\/span> (and, therefore, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">less uncertain<\/span>).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I have to talk to a new potential client\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026I feel like there\u2019s <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">no control<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">TOTAL <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">uncertainty<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019d rather curl up in a ball and watch TV.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019d rather do anything else (as long as it has no likelihood of <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">rejection<\/span> or <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">conflict<\/span>, or the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">uncertainty<\/span> that comes with meeting a brand new \u2018unpredictable\u2019 client).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But, instead of letting fear barge in and ruin my zen\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026I approach <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">new client interactions IN THE SAME WAY EVERY TIME<\/span><strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Having a <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">consistent template<\/span> for new client interactions gives me <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">peace<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">control<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">predictability<\/span>.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For instance, here\u2019s my template for <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">scheduling the first conversation<\/span>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>&lt;&lt;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>SUBJECT:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Re: Coaching<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>BODY:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Mr.\/Mrs. Prospective Client,<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>It&#8217;s probably best to have a quick chat to discuss. I&#8217;m available Monday at the following times (all times are Eastern standard):<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>4pm<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>6pm<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>630pm<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Let me know what works for you and I&#8217;ll confirm it.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>&gt;&gt;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I get these inquiries, I don\u2019t even want to respond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What if they don\u2019t like my email?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What if they aren\u2019t really serious about coaching?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What if they tell other people I suck?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, instead of letting those fears dominate my communication, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">I set up the GUARD-RAILS that help me to do what\u2019s necessary<\/span>, and hit all the important points in that part of the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Once that initial conversation is scheduled, it doesn\u2019t change the fact that I\u2019m afraid of talking to them\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026but it <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">guarantees I\u2019m going to deal with my fear<\/span> (whether I want to or not) when it\u2019s time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before the meeting I make sure I <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">prepare my mindset<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It takes TIME for that new client to get comfortable with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">AND it takes a while for ME to get comfortable with THEM.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But through our <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">time<\/span> together\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026the fear <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">subsides<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I ask questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now we know each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now we\u2019re friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now I WANT to work with this client.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now I actually ENJOY this client.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>By this time\u2026 the fear has EVAPORATED.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That scheduling email isn\u2019t the only one that\u2019s templated. They ALL are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Every initial conversation and session<\/span> is scripted (or, at least, outlined).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Every initial conversation and session<\/span> is scripted (or, at least, outlined).&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every step of the way, I follow <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">a very organized process with that new client<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Slow Seduction Coaching\" class=\"wp-image-28211\" srcset=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo-640x360.jpg 640w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/slow-seducation-logo.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026so I know <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">what to expect<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026and so I <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">predictably add value<\/span> to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In fact, every part of <a href=\"https:\/\/sm168.keap-link017.com\/v2\/click\/a20076cc28970a0e6ea1d03a22e06968\/eJyNkEFPwzAMhf-Lzy0Zg3alt2mapqpjBwRnlKZmtWidKHFB09T_TlbQTiBx8cHv83t6PoMga5aqhRLCcJsXkIBHQ46QZWNZtJnF-6xYLRPoid933o4OyvNvp1f9sr3Ll4siATk5jMjz03pTV4fd67461BF12seI__hki4dVll-Nto_rag_T9KczDiTbj2geoBQ_4qVRS7GVvPg-8p2IC6VSxmrTYRCviYmPTW-PN8YOqsE4Uc-yajRJGj5JTJfOm0imbyMz9ipmaeeQ259H1Xj6Tpy-ACn8cjM=\"><strong>my enrollment process<\/strong><\/a> is <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">templated<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">scheduled<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">organized<\/span>, and ultimately\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Controlled!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That sense of control <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">helps me bear the uncertainty<\/span> of new clients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That sense of control helps create <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">predictable positive outcomes<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That sense of control <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">helps my prospects get comfortable<\/span> if THEY have fear (even if most of them may not).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The point of this approach?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fear doesn\u2019t sabotage my success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fear still shows up. <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">It just doesn\u2019t stop me<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My organized, scheduled, and controlled process wins the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text alignwide has-media-on-the-right is-stacked-on-mobile\" style=\"grid-template-columns:auto 48%\"><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wellpaidcoach.com\/webinar-signup\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/SYNERGY-WEBINAR.jpg\" alt=\"How to Make Money Coaching WEBINAR\" class=\"wp-image-25025 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/SYNERGY-WEBINAR.jpg 800w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/SYNERGY-WEBINAR-300x188.jpg 300w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/SYNERGY-WEBINAR-768x480.jpg 768w, https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/SYNERGY-WEBINAR-640x400.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>(NOTE: If you want to learn how to get your first paid clients in the next 28 days, then <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/wellpaidcoach.com\/webinar-signup\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">check out the &#8220;Well Paid Coach&#8221; webinar<\/a><\/strong>. &nbsp;During the webinar, I\u2019ll cover the 6 myths that stop new coaches from making money coaching. <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/wellpaidcoach.com\/webinar-signup\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Click HERE now<\/a><\/strong> to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/wellpaidcoach.com\/webinar-signup\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">attend the webinar<\/a><\/strong>.)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3. Anger &gt; Fear.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Convert your <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fear<\/span> into <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">anger<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes, the fear is still there (underneath the anger). Anger doesn\u2019t make fear disappear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">anger ignites action<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>How can you turn FEAR into ANGER?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Easy\u2026 FEAR <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">robs you of your dreams and hopes<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">FEAR <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">destroys what you truly deserve<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Doesn\u2019t that <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">make<\/span> you ANGRY?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Shouldn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It certainly makes ME angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Think about it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If someone ROBS you of your dreams\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If they STEAL what you authentically deserve\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If they VIOLATE your hopes and expectations\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Then wouldn\u2019t that make you \u2018white hot\u2019 angry?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Fear is a dream killer.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Relate to that fear with tremendous anger.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Once I\u2019m in \u2018anger mode\u2019, I take <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">action<\/span>.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anger pushes me to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fight the battles<\/span> I have to fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m not afraid during those experiences\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026but <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">my anger runs the show<\/span>, not my fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Think anger\u2019s evil?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don\u2019t want to embrace the \u2018dark side\u2019?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anger isn\u2019t the most empowering or positive emotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">don\u2019t overuse anger<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But anger DOES\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>help you <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">stand up for yourself<\/span>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>motivate you to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fight<\/span> important battles.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>push you to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">recover<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">strive<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">win<\/span>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are times when anger is appropriate, justified, and healthy\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026both for you, your clients, and the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Anger isn\u2019t evil.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Anger is <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">useful<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anger, of course, can be mis-used, dangerous, and problematic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But, in the right amounts, and with positive intentions, anger as an emotion\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026can truly serve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The \u2018younger me\u2019 didn\u2019t tap into anger as a resource.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>I always thought of myself as the GOOD BOY.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>But, in retrospect, I WASN\u2019T good\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>I was <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">weak<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being weak <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">doesn\u2019t make you good<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being weak just makes you <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">harmless<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">ineffectual<\/span>, and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">powerless<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, that was me\u2026 for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And then I had some extremely intense experiences where I was taken advantage of and controlled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">harness enough anger<\/span> to overcome tremendous abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ultimately I had to learn to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">temper my anger<\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">control it<\/span>, and ultimately use it in positive ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That \u2018anger mode\u2019 provides me with a <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">strength that I never had in my youth<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anger helps me get past my fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>That pang of fear still fires off from time to time.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My face gets hot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My stomach\u2026 tied up in knots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fear doesn\u2019t have to stop you from talking to more people\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My breathing\u2026 shallow and labored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026telling them you\u2019re a coach\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026and coaching them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>You can get past fear and find way more opportunities to coach.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s a pretty basic concept:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">More <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">sharing<\/span> = more <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">impact<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Less <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">sharing<\/span> = less <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">impact<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But getting past fear is necessary for many coaches, if they want to reach that promised land.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Fear is a dream killer.<\/strong>&#8220;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try these three methods out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">See how they work for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try DANCING, visualizing, and priming your mindset to override fear.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try ORGANIZING your fear\u2026 controlling your coaching process to overcome uncertainty.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try ANGER to overpower fear.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let me know how it goes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What do you do to overcome your fear?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Reply to this email and tell me\u2026 I\u2019d love to hear about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jeffrey \u201cGet Past Fear\u201d Sooey<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/bio\/jeffrey-t-sooey\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Jeffrey T. Sooey<\/strong><\/a><br>Dean, Master Coach University<br>Founder, Coaches Training Blog community<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A new coaching student just quit because they\u2019re afraid to talk to people. And it reminded me how DEADLY fear is to a coaching business. The truth is\u2026 even after 22+ years of full-time professional coaching\u2026 I\u2019m STILL afraid to talk to you. Perhaps most coaches don\u2019t have this fear of talking to people. Meeting [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":28206,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2561,2107],"tags":[2871,821],"class_list":["post-28205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-coaching-mindset-self-assessment-coaching-skills-2","category-coaching-skills-2","tag-coaching-mindset-self-assessment-2","tag-coaching-skills","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/overcome-fear-model-LOGO.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28205","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28205"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28205\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28589,"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28205\/revisions\/28589"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28206"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}