{"id":27678,"date":"2022-05-30T23:55:13","date_gmt":"2022-05-31T07:55:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/?p=27678"},"modified":"2022-06-18T12:40:07","modified_gmt":"2022-06-18T20:40:07","slug":"shallow-vs-deep-coaching","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/shallow-vs-deep-coaching\/","title":{"rendered":"Shallow VS. Deep Coaching"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When you ask your client \u201cWhat do you want to work on in your session today?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do they come up with?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026an audacious and inspiring<\/span> goal or challenge?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026or a boring, impotent \u201cnothing-burger\u201d<\/span>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most coaches eventually run a few \u2018shallow\u2019 sessions<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember the movie Shallow Hal<\/span>?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHal\u201d was only interested in how people looked on the surface<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was limiting his love life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Luckily, along came a \u2018deep coach\u2019,<\/span> Tony Robbins (my original mentor and employer<\/strong><\/a>)…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026who \u2018coached\u2019 him to look past the surface<\/span> of a woman\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026and see something deeper<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That \u2018deep coaching\u2019 opened Hal to create connection and growth in his relationships\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026that would\u2019ve been impossible<\/span> without that \u2018deeper view\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your job is to plunge beneath the surface<\/span> of that iceberg\u2026and explore hidden depths<\/span> with them.<\/strong>“<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

If your \u2018shallow Hal\u2019 clients only see the \u2018shiny objects\u2019 around them<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2026they\u2019ll miss out on the real \u2018juice\u2019<\/span> in their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same goes for their coaching sessions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you only cater<\/span> to the \u2018shiny surface objects\u2019 your clients dangle in front of you\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Glittered<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u2026your coaching sessions with them will be\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forgettable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inconsequential.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mediocre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trivial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Meh\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It reminds me of a coach who recently complained that her client used her sessions for \u201corganizational support\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(like a human \u2018to do list\u2019)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked \u201cWhat\u2019s your coaching fee?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said \u201cI\u2019m only charging $80 \/ month.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I answered, \u201cShe \u2018s getting just about what she\u2019s paying for<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2018Minor help\u2019 isn\u2019t the greatest aspiration you have for coaching your clients, is it?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you only do what your client asks for<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026you become your client’s \u2018waterboy\u2019<\/span> (or \u2018watergirl\u2019?).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not very powerful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not very valuable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And not worth a substantial coaching fee<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go deeper<\/span> with your clients.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

They should get way more value than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine your client is this iceberg:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Iceberg\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

And they will only show you their \u2018tip\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your job is to plunge beneath the surface<\/span> of that iceberg\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026and explore hidden depths<\/span> with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does that \u2018deeper value\u2019 REALLY look like?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s an example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just ran a coaching session with a consultant that felt a bit \u2018stuck\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said \u201cI keep getting sucked into consulting work I\u2019m not passionate about.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI need help clarifying the kind of work I WANT to do<\/span>\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026versus the \u2018low hanging fruit\u2019 gigs that I don\u2019t enjoy.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, I dutifully asked her what those areas were\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026and she quickly proceeded to list them for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Job done<\/span>, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She clarified her passion zones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I delivered everything she had asked for<\/span> in the coaching session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, I gave the client what she wanted<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem<\/span>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u2018coaching\u2019 wasn\u2019t very valuable<\/span> so far\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I only asked her ONE question<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026the answer<\/span> to which she could\u2019ve come up with BY HERSELF<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026in five minutes<\/span>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wasn\u2019t valuable enough for my standard of coaching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I continued\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou gave me your answers so fast<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s obvious you already knew<\/span> your \u2018passion zones\u2019.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy haven\u2019t you already taken the time<\/span> for yourself to write down those six passion zones?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy did it take a coaching session with ME\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026for you to make that simple list?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said – \u201cI never bothered, because it seemed like it would\u2019ve been a waste of time<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cBecause I couldn\u2019t stop myself from taking all the wrong jobs in the past.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cWhy did you take the \u2018wrong jobs\u2019?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cI guess I just didn\u2019t say \u2018no\u2019.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cI wasn\u2019t very active in pursuing what I really wanted<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cIs there anything that would stop<\/span> you from pursuing what you really want NOW?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cFinances.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cSo, what\u2019s REALLY stopping you<\/span> from this perfect career\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026is the money<\/span>??\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cI really don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cYou already knew what you love doing\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026because you were able to come up with those passion zones in 30 seconds.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt sounds like you never drew \u2018a line in the sand\u2019<\/span> for those passion zones, did you?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cThat\u2019s true. But it feels weird saying \u201cno\u201d to a well-paying gig.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cWhat do you mean \u2018it feels weird\u2019?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cIt feels weird\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026not doing the easy thing\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026for good money.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were starting to dive beneath the surface of her \u2018iceberg\u2019.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>
\n

(NOTE: If you want to learn how to start your own coaching business, then check out this webinar<\/a><\/strong>, called “How to Start Your Coaching Business in 30 Days<\/a>“<\/a><\/strong> \u00a0During the webinar, I\u2019ll cover how to get your first paid clients fast and make it feel natural for you. Click HERE now<\/a><\/strong> to attend the webinar<\/a><\/strong>.)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It took NINE penetrating questions<\/span> to get to the \u2018gut\u2019 of what was going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those questions<\/span> helped us explore<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026what would make the coaching session WAY more valuable<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, ultimately, out of all that probing<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026I discovered what was missing for her<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I shared it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cDon\u2019t you already know that living a life doing easy work that you hate\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026is NOT what you\u2019re up for?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

HER: \u201cYeah, I know that\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026in my heart.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ME: \u201cThen you know it.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd NOW all you\u2019ve got to do is TELL THE REST OF YOU.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause your heart IS you.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere are other parts of you that could argue against it<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour \u2018head\u2019.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour \u2018fear\u2019.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut you\u2019ve got to make sure\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026your heart WINS.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got to tell your \u2018lizard brain\u2019 that your spirit is just as important as finances<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got to tell your logical brain that it\u2019s not \u2018weird\u2019 to pursue what you love<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd, once all those parts of you are aligned with this direction<\/span>\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026you\u2019ll draw a line in the sand<\/span>\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026and you won\u2019t sell out on yourself ever again<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you see why I didn’t just stop coaching once I gave her what she asked for<\/span>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Isn\u2019t the upside of digging deeper<\/span>\u2026 obvious?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I kept pushing\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026because catering ONLY to what your client asks for\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026isn\u2019t what coaching is about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I kept pushing\u2026because catering ONLY to what your client asks for\u2026isn\u2019t what coaching is about.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m NOT my client\u2019s \u2018waterboy\u2019.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

And, as a coaching professional, I want to be worth my fee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The questions<\/span> I asked\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The coaching<\/span> I gave\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026was way more valuable<\/span> than just getting a few obvious answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what coaching is really<\/span> there for\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026finding the true, deeper, invisible value<\/span> that your client would NEVER find on their own<\/span>:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what coaching is really<\/span> there for\u2026finding the true, deeper, invisible value<\/span> that your client would NEVER find on their own<\/span><\/strong>“<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n