{"id":27378,"date":"2022-03-23T23:14:29","date_gmt":"2022-03-24T07:14:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/?p=27378"},"modified":"2022-03-24T06:40:21","modified_gmt":"2022-03-24T14:40:21","slug":"even-hopeless-coaches-can-become-gurus-heres-how","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/even-hopeless-coaches-can-become-gurus-heres-how\/","title":{"rendered":"Even Hopeless Coaches Can Become Gurus\u2026 Here\u2019s How"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

There are 3 kinds of coaches<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Hopeless<\/span> Coaches<\/li>
  2. Stuck<\/span> Coaches<\/li>
  3. \u201cUnicorn\u201d<\/span> Coaches<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    I used to be the hopeless coach.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    I didn\u2019t even TRY to coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I had no hope<\/span> that I could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I didn\u2019t even TRY to start my coaching business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I had no hope<\/span> that I would be able to run a business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I really didn\u2019t think my own dreams mattered (or that they were possible).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    I was living a life that I \u201cfell into\u201d…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026because I looked to others for approval<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I performed so they\u2019d tell me that I was good enough<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Not exactly \u2018coach material\u2019!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    That approval seeking started when I was 6 years old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My mom was dying.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    One of her last words to me was \u201cTake care of your 4 year old sister.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My mother believed that she should take care of others first<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So, instead of comforting and reassuring me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026she parroted her own beliefs<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So I believed it too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cTake care of everyone else before yourself.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I believed that even after mom was gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Then I looked to my dad for approval\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026who was always busy working on something<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He believed<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cIn order to be worthy, you must stay busy all of the time.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He never SAID that directly to me, but I could see this belief through his actions<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He approved<\/span> of me when I was busy<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He disapproved<\/span> when I was idle<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So I believed my father\u2019s belief, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    BUSYNESS = WORTHINESS<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Then I looked to my teachers for approval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019d get their approval easily because I got good grades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    They believed\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cEducation is everything.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So I believed that too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Who was I?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I had become a combination of beliefs<\/span> from the people around me.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    What was my life about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Those beliefs<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I believed I always had to learn more<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026so my life was about excelling in school<\/span> (all the way through my doctorate program)\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026keeping me \u2018stuck\u2019 in the education system for a decade.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I believed I should take care of others first<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026so my life was about putting others before myself<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026taking care of my husband and family, but losing myself<\/span> in the process.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I believed my self worth was tied to my productivity<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026so my life was about working hard and staying busy<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026keeping me at the top of my career, but miserable<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I looked successful\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026but, I was imprisoned by beliefs that did not serve me<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    From the outside I looked like I had it all\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026but inside?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I was dead<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I was just going through the motions<\/span>, working really hard\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026and had no idea what I wanted<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I was just going through the motions<\/span>, working really hard\u2026and had no idea what I wanted<\/span>.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    I was lost (i.e. a \u2018hopeless coach\u2019)\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026until I spent a day away from my family and friends<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    That was the first day in my life that I wasn\u2019t listening to other people\u2019s beliefs.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    With only the sound of my own voice\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026I discovered something I\u2019d never known before\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I realized that I mattered<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I discovered what I wanted<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I explored what I believed was possible<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    For the first time in my life<\/span>, I was generating MY OWN BELIEFS.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I wrote all my new beliefs down in my journal\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I wrote the action steps that emerged from those beliefs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And, over the next year, I took one small step\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026and then another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I was no longer hopeless.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But I still wasn\u2019t 100% committed to my new life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"high<\/a><\/figure>
    \n

    (NOTE: Want to replace your full time income so you can transition<\/a> to coaching for a living<\/a><\/strong>? Then you need to watch<\/a> this <\/a>video<\/a><\/strong>. In the video, I\u2019ll explain the high leverage \u201cPIES\u201d strategy to<\/a> <\/a>best<\/a> <\/a>get<\/a> <\/a>paying<\/a> <\/a>clients<\/a><\/strong>. Click HERE now<\/a> <\/strong>to watch the video<\/a><\/strong>.)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    I became the \u2018stuck coach\u2019.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    How do I know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Because, when I met new challenges<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026I stopped<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I questioned whether or not I should quit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Maybe that challenge was a \u2018sign\u2019?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It was more likely my belief<\/span> screaming,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cDon\u2019t change\u2026 the unknown is scary and you may get hurt<\/span>\u201d.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Even though I got stuck over and over again\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026my coaches kept picking me up and dusting me off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Eventually, I started to believe \u201cThese challenges can\u2019t hurt me<\/span>.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So, I got better at taking action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My commitment to myself and my goals grew stronger<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I strengthened my belief<\/span> that I mattered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I didn\u2019t realize it at the time, but each time I got stuck\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026then got up, and continued anyway<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026I was slowly transforming into a \u2018unicorn coach\u2019.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    My beliefs got stronger and stronger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I discovered an inner strength<\/span> I never knew I had.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I stopped looking for approval<\/span> from the outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But even though I started to feel alive again on the inside\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026my outside world got messy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Becoming a unicorn caused a LOT of problems.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My marriage fell apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I had to cut back on some contracting work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It seemed that no one was happy with me<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But that was actually good (even though I didn\u2019t really see it at the time).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I started to believe that seeking other people\u2019s approval<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026instead of listening to my own voice<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026had been robbing me of my life<\/span> for too long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I started to believe that I had been imprisoned by what looked like a perfect life\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026a good marriage on the outside\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026a good career\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u20262 amazing kids\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026a beautiful home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But, as I started taking the time to nurture myself\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026I became stronger physically and emotionally\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026which, ironically, created a void.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My beliefs allowed me to embrace the void and take even more action.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    I raised my fees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I worked less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I invested<\/span> in myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I invested<\/span> in the stock market and property rentals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I painted the ugly wall in my backyard, and weeded the garden.I cleaned my house for the first time because I wanted to<\/strong><\/a>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026not because someone else wanted me to<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I volunteered at the maritime museum and climbed the rigging on the Star of India.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    I sailed on tall ships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I started practicing Taekwondo\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"Splitting<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    I traveled to Italy with my teenage daughter\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"Italian<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026and to Germany to see the Christmas markets, and drive the Autobahn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I believed strongly enough that it was possible\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026so I did it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Now I\u2019m a \u2018unicorn coach\u2019.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I take ownership of my life, my emotions, and my outcomes<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I take ownership of my life, my emotions, and my outcomes<\/span>.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    I no longer answer to anyone<\/span> but myself when it comes to my successes or failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    From now on, I\u2019m going to be compassionate<\/span> with myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    To take every opportunity to gain BELIEF\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026not just from my successes<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026but from my failures<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    To do that, I had to strengthen my trust and belief in myself.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    I think back to my past, where I supported everyone else\u2019s belief, but not my own<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026because I was afraid<\/span> of disapproval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I didn\u2019t acknowledge my own needs and dreams<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026because I bought into my mom\u2019s belief<\/span> that I should take care of others first.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I was afraid to invest<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026because I bought into my teachers\u2019 beliefs<\/span> that I need more education.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I was afraid to step out and create<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026because I bought into my father\u2019s belief<\/span> that I\u2019m not worthy if I\u2019m not working.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    All these breakthroughs\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026from \u2018hopeless<\/span> coach\u2019, to \u2018stuck<\/span> coach\u2019, to \u2018unicorn<\/span> coach\u2019…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026are preceded by a change in belief<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    All failures to break through boundaries are due to a faulty belief system.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Transforming your beliefs allows you to go from completely hopeless and imprisoned\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026to testing your beliefs<\/span> that \u201cmaybe you can change\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Transforming<\/span> your beliefs gets you \u2018unstuck\u2019…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026to believing stronger and stronger<\/span>, finally becoming the unicorn coach<\/span> you were meant to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And the unicorn coach achieves things that few coaches ever do<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Next week I\u2019ll share the mechanics\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026how to upgrade your beliefs<\/span>, step by step\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026to \u2018unicorn coach\u2019 level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Colette “Unicorn” Coiner<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    Dr. Colette Coiner, PCC, PT, DPT, FAAOMPT<\/a><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Associate Dean, Master Coach University<\/a><\/strong>
    drcolettecoiner@coachestrainingblog.com<\/a><\/strong>
    858-232-3739<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n