And as hard as you try\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026your coaching doesn\u2019t work<\/span>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It probably has nothing to do with\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n The reason I can say this with such confidence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The same thing happened to me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and I\u2019m no slouch with my coaching skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A friend of mine, Amy, called me 2 weeks ago\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI could really use some accountability coaching\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026would you be willing to help me?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Since Amy is such a good friend, I agree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut,\u201d<\/em><\/strong> \u2026 I tell her, \u201cI am about to go into a meeting\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026can you call me at noon when I have a break?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Amy replies, \u201cThat would be great! Thank you!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Noon comes and goes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She doesn\u2019t call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (proving that she NEEDS accountability coaching)<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2 weeks later\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026Amy calls again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Amy still wants help<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and now I have a bit of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So we talk\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026but the conversation isn\u2019t going anywhere<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now I\u2019m feeling like I can\u2019t coach her AT ALL\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why??<\/p>\n\n\n\n Looking back on it now\u2026 I realize the simple reason<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because I never enrolled her into coaching<\/span> with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn\u2019t her fault\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn\u2019t a lack of coaching skills<\/span> on my part\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn\u2019t ENROLL her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I lowered my own standards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was undisciplined, and abandoned my own process<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And THAT\u2019S why Amy missed out on the magic of coaching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because the magic of coaching only happens if<\/span> <\/strong>a client ENROLLS into coaching<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Why does enrollment \u2018release the magic\u2019 in coaching?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most clients won\u2019t enroll into coaching if they don\u2019t have anything at stake<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not a lot of people are spending thousands of dollars on coaching while saying \u201cI don\u2019t really know what I want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Enrolled clients know WHY<\/span> they want to achieve their goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once your client enrolls in coaching, you can be pretty sure they care a lot about where the coaching conversation is going<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026because they want it to lead to their dreams coming true<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Enrolled clients know WHY<\/span> they want to achieve their goals.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n People don\u2019t enroll into things they\u2019re not committed to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, without commitment, your client will:<\/p>\n\n\n\n (You\u2019ve probably seen a few of these behaviors yourself.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n By the way, enrollment generally means that you have a signed contract<\/span> between you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Why would coaching be any different?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bottom line\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n ANYTHING you\u2019re serious about, you put in writing<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ANYTHING you\u2019re committed to, you eventually put in writing<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, remember, for your client\u2019s sake:<\/p>\n\n\n\n COMMITMENT is the CURRENCY of RESULTS.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever heard the saying, \u201cPut your money where your mouth is.\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Payment is like an extra layer of commitment<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Payment means your client has something tangible to lose<\/span> if they decide not to participate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think: \u201cflesh in the game\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I can\u2019t make my clients show up for their calls, but clients are much more likely to show up if they feel they paid for something<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026because they have something to lose<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n COMMITMENT is the CURRENCY of RESULTS.<\/strong>“<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s really hard to enroll in something when you don\u2019t know your part in the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your client\u2019s roles should be listed in the contract:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and on and on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When your client signs their enrollment contract, they should have to read and agree to EVERYTHING<\/span> involved in their side of the coaching relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Only then do you know you\u2019ve got their FULL agreement<\/span> to what\u2019s involved in coaching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My clients get my time, expertise, and commitment<\/span> to help them become the person who can achieve their goals, navigate obstacles, and celebrate their wins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most importantly, my client\u2019s know what NOT to expect from me<\/span> because it\u2019s NOT part of my role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This sets them up for success because they\u2019re not hoping for extra babysitting from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They\u2019ll pull their weight because they understand I\u2019m not \u201cdoing it all\u201d for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You STOP being their friend<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and START being their coach<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (at least during the coaching sessions)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friend STOPS being your friend\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and STARTS being your client<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (at least during the coaching sessions)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not a lot of friends (or coaches) are willing to do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In some ways, coaching is the OPPOSITE of a typical friendship<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Friendships are usually about\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trying to turn that friendship into a coaching relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n That coaching relationship requires\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s hard enough for most coaches with their \u2018non-friend\u2019 clients\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and it\u2019s even harder with friends<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might be thinking\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut I can separate it.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes\u2026you can<\/span> separate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But when you\u2019re drawing that line with a friend\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026it might feel awkward or distant<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because your friends expect you to be empathetic<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026to be on their side<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and to jump into their drama<\/strong><\/a> and cry, laugh, or scream with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In other words\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friends want you to join them in the full experience of their life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The ups\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and downs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friends don\u2019t expect you to stand on the sidelines<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friends don\u2019t expect you to make them analyze how their limiting beliefs are keeping them from happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friends don\u2019t expect you to put 100% of the responsibility in their hands<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the context of friendship alone\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friends expect you to connect with them<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friends expect you to respond with unconditional acceptance<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (NOTE: If you\u2019ve been waiting to start your coaching business, or were wondering if you can do it profitably, then you need to watch this video<\/a><\/strong>. In the video, I\u2019ll explain how to How to Build a Profitable Coaching Business in 30 Days<\/a><\/strong>. Click HERE now<\/a><\/strong> to watch the video<\/a><\/strong>.)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo Colette\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026you\u2019re telling me the reason coaching friends doesn\u2019t work\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 is that they\u2019re not enrolled?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n What if I enroll my friends into coaching?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Should I make them pay to talk with me?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Shouldn\u2019t I just coach them because they\u2019re my friend?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n That is entirely up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I\u2019ll share the day I realized that charging a friend for coaching is probably best<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of my best friends\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n (She opened her home to me, providing refuge from the San Diego wildfire evacuations in 2006\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026INSISTED on paying me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/em><\/strong> I asked (trying to talk her out of paying me).<\/p>\n\n\n\n How could I charge a friend who practically saved my life\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026just to TALK to her??<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019d feel so guilty\u2026 like a taker!<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, I didn\u2019t want to lose her friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, she won me over with her argument\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u2026I want to support <\/span>your business\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026I would be paying someone else <\/span>to help me anyway\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026you need to value what you do<\/span> and charge me\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026you have to treat this like a business<\/span>, not a hobby.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I realized she was right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I realized that my guilt was just protecting me<\/span> from the discomfort of a disciplined coaching relationship with someone I loved so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I realized that I was about to compromise my own coaching<\/span> (and what was possible for my friend in coaching) in order to preserve the friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I gave her my \u2018Friends & Family\u2019 discount. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may not want to enroll all of your friends into coaching\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026but it doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t enroll a friend<\/span> if coaching is what\u2019s best for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may not want to enroll all of your friends into coaching\u2026but it doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t enroll a friend<\/span> if coaching is what\u2019s best for them.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s nothing wrong with giving your friend that magic that comes with enrolling in coaching.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n WARNING: When you\u2019re coaching a friend, avoid these pitfalls:<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s so easy to get emotionally caught up with your friend\u2019s experience<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a friend\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026your attachment to your friend affects your ability to be a neutral party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your friend isn\u2019t happy\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026you\u2019re likely to suffer with them<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t let that happen, or you\u2019ll lose the ability to fully coach your friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Create boundaries<\/span> about what your role is.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n There is a reason why great surgeons don\u2019t operate on their own family members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They\u2019re just too emotionally involved<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When coaching a friend, it\u2019s easy for either of you to forget your role(s) in the coaching relationship<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friendship is a strong emotional bond, and those \u2018friend feelings\u2019 can easily creep into the coaching conversation<\/span>\u2026 at any time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stay vigilant about your roles in the coaching relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Create clear expectations about how coaching is different from your friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Creating this distinction will elevate your friend\u2019s respect for you and your coaching, and open the door to real value from that coaching relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Create Why didn\u2019t your amazing coaching \u2018work\u2019 on your friend?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Now I\u2019m feeling like coaching Amy is a waste of time.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/magic.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nENROLLMENT suggests that your client is pretty clear about their goals.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
ENROLLMENT means your client is committed.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
ENROLLMENT means your client has paid you.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
ENROLLMENT means your client understands their role.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
ENROLLMENT means your client understands YOUR role.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
When you ENROLL a friend into coaching\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Coaching](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/coaching-friends-logo-1024x576.jpg\"){kind=logo}
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n![\"How](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/QS-VIDEO-COURSE.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>If you suddenly fail to give your friends what they expect<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u2026the friendship will suffer<\/span>.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
So, I let go of my story\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u2026and I charged her.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT \/ ATTACHMENT<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
BLURRED LINES<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
NO RESPONSIBILITY \/ ACCOUNTABILITY<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n