The same goes for building a coaching practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not talking about your \u2018coaching competition\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m talking about your WORST enemy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your <\/strong><\/a>mind<\/a>\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n …the source of your own limitations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And this enemy is even harder to pin down because it\u2019s INSIDE YOU<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have faced my own \u201cinner enemy\u201d many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She robbed me of time\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …energy\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …and even threatened my health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My mind is guilty of pushing me to\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of facing my emotions\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …I\u2019ve Buffered.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n …I\u2019ve intercepted my painful emotions<\/span> instead of facing them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n …I\u2019ve separated from the emotions<\/span> that felt unsafe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n …I\u2019ve moderated the pressure<\/span> of those emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I call it \u201cBUFFERING\u201d for short.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Buffering is a survival mechanism that everyone uses from time to time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Buffering is distracting yourself from a problem<\/span> by doing something that feels safe<\/span>\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n …instead of addressing a problem head on.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n When buffering, rather than sorting through your feelings\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …you numb your emotions and hide from them<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some common ways to buffer include\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Buffering feels good in the moment\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …but the net result is negative\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …because you\u2019re not getting what you really need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Buffering always means you miss out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Buffering always means you lose in the long term<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (NOTE: If you want to learn how to start your own coaching business, then check out this webinar<\/a><\/strong>, called “How to Start Your Coaching Business in 30 Days<\/a>“<\/a><\/strong> \u00a0During the webinar, I\u2019ll cover how to get your first paid clients fast and make it feel natural for you. Click HERE now<\/a><\/strong> to attend the webinar<\/a><\/strong>.)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n They don\u2019t face the \u2018hard things\u2019 in their life…<\/p>\n\n\n\n …and so they get \u2018stuck\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They come to YOU to help them get \u2018unstuck\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What they don\u2019t usually realize?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Their coach is mostly there to get them to face that SAME \u2018HARD THING\u2019\u2019<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, if your job as the coach is to help your clients with their own \u2018hard things\u2019…<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because it\u2019s really hard to help someone do something that you yourself haven\u2019t done<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because the journey to find and help your best clients is riddled with \u2018hard things\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because you\u2019re the coach who walks their talk<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, let\u2019s get into it : )<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is when the emotion is completely in charge of you<\/span>. You bounce off the emotion like a pinball off a bumper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think of reacting like \u2018running\u2019 from an emotion<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Running means you\u2019ve given in to the urge to buffer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n …eating the ice cream<\/p>\n\n\n\n …or getting up from what would otherwise be a productive work session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s obvious that this choice slows progress toward your goals; but there are also negative side effects<\/span>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Physically:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n By over-eating, over-drinking, or under-sleeping, you end up overweight, hung over, or too tired to be effective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotionally:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n By failing to make progress toward your goals, you\u2019ll risk ongoing anger and resentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever blown up at someone for a somewhat minor request?<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s often because you know you are about to rob yourself of the opportunity to take care of your own business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think of this as the \u2018willpower\u2019 or the \u2018white knuckle\u2019 approach<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n When resisting you might use willpower and…<\/p>\n\n\n\n …force yourself not to eat the ice cream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or……force yourself to just \u201cpush through\u201d challenges<\/span> without being effective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What\u2019s lost when you just \u2018resist\u2019 the emotion?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You still ignore the core issue\u2026 whatever\u2019s at the root of that troubling emotion<\/span> in the first place.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The problem with that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The core issue stays around<\/span>, bothering you again and again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, eventually, even the most \u2018high discipline\u2019 people succumb to the pressure and fall back into reaction<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …drinking, eating, distracting themselves, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The point around RESISTANCE?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Willpower alone is unsustainable<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat you resist…persists.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat you resist…persists.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Instead of working through your issues, you end up repeating the pattern<\/span>\u2026 often subconsciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow the urge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow the pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow it to be \u2018hard\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow the fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow the risk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow the problem.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n …and then, for the first time, you can authentically work through it<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow yourself to feel the feeling without hiding from it<\/span>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lean into the feeling and accept it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This doesn\u2019t \u2018kill\u2019 the problem (as in RESISTING)…<\/p>\n\n\n\n …or make you feel better immediately (as in REACTING\/DISTRACTING).<\/p>\n\n\n\n But as you meditate on ALLOWING…<\/p>\n\n\n\n …the intensity of the problem will subside<\/span>, and eventually pass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, even if it doesn\u2019t, that issue will no longer LIMIT YOU.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s the point of ALLOWING, breaking through and surpassing your LIMITS.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Unless you ALLOW the issue\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …you won\u2019t see the issue<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unless you SEE the issue\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n …you can’t work through the issue<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unless you WORK THROUGH the issue\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nothing changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That part of your life will be like driving with the parking brake on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It takes a lot more energy and the results are much slower.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you…<\/p>\n\n\n\n React, run, and distract yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Resist and force yourself through?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or, do you allow the difficulty?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allowing emotions is the only path that opens the door to actually processing them<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Processing them<\/strong><\/a> leads to real awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, awareness is the only path to becoming mentally stronger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mental strength<\/strong><\/a> isn\u2019t about measuring FORCE, <\/strong>like in physical strength<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s about<\/p>\n\n\n\n …and growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most mentally \u2018strong\u2019 aren\u2019t more forceful with their mind<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They don\u2019t \u2018overpower\u2019 themselves or others to prove mental strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But…<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s mental strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No biceps required!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember, allowing is about SEEING.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you\u2019ve allowed the issue, you can see with clarity for the first time.Here are 3 things you can \u2018see\u2019<\/span> once you\u2019ve \u2018allowed\u2019:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You can see the problem and the pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n See it all\u2026 in exquisite detail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I\u2019m feeling uncertain I take a break to scrub the kitchen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n One way to help with \u2018seeing the enemy\u2019 is to write everything down<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You get bonus points for locating WHERE this pattern typically takes place. Post your written observations where you see it<\/span> (use a sticky note).<\/p>\n\n\n\n This\u2019ll help you \u2018see\u2019 the pattern more quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allowing the issue and emotion opens up the opportunity to see the consequences of this emotional enemy<\/span>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n What else can you see this enemy costing you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What\u2019s the emotional cost<\/span> of this enemy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n See the pain<\/span> you will experience if you don\u2019t change this enemy and the pleasure<\/span> you will experience if you do change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Go Deep with this\u2026 It\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People go through HELL simply because they couldn\u2019t see those consequences in advance<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n AND, people experience HEAVEN through keenly noticing the consequences<\/span> of their actions, patterns, and issues with a little \u2018foresight\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allowing the issue to appear, in all it\u2019s detail, makes needed changes<\/span> obvious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n NOTE: When you catch these mistakes\u2026 <\/strong>celebrate<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"Fear](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/6-1024x576.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nEach time my mind gets the best of me, there\u2019s one common thread<\/span>:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s buffering?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Resources-Start-Coaching-In-30-Days-2-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>This is one reason why people come to coaching.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u2026you\u2019ll need to start with YOU.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
When you need to do something hard, scary, or risky, there are 3 choices<\/span>:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
CHOICE 1: React \/ Distract<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Reactions\"](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/REACT-1024x576.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nCHOICE 2: Resist<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Resist\"](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/RESIST-1024x576.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nCHOICE 3: Allow<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Allow\"](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/ALLOW-1024x576.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nWhich is your \u2018go to\u2019 option when the stakes are high?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How can you use this \u2018allowing\u2019 to break through your limitations?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Art](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/ART-OF-WAY-LOGO-1024x576.jpg\"){kind=logo}
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nSEE THE ENEMY:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
SEE THE CONSEQUENCES:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
SEE THE CHANGE:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/coachestrainingblog.com\/becomeacoach\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/bio-circles-jeffrey-t-sooey2.001.png\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n