In our seven deadly sins of life coaching series, the fourth sin is anger. Does anger ever show up in your coaching? Have you ever felt angry towards a client? What about feeling angry toward yourself? What was the anger about and how did you handle it? Whose fault was it really?
Anger In Your Life Coaching
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Do you ever feel angry with a coaching client? Are you angry because you have taken personally something your client has said or done? Has your client triggered something you need to get coaching on to be a more effective coach or to be more effective in your life? If you notice yourself feeling angry during a coaching session or with a life coaching client, it’s important to figure out where the anger is coming from for two main reasons. First, anger in you is counter-productive for your client. Second, there is probably a coaching lesson in it for you that will improve your life and your life coaching.
An Example To Consider
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When I first started life coaching I often felt angry with clients who routinely called in late for a scheduled appointment. I was quite righteous about it–I took it as a personal affront and felt offended that my time was being wasted! But with the help of my coaches I realized that the problem was me, not the client. Here’s how it looks to me now. First, my time is already blocked out for a particular client in my calender, so if he chooses to be late to a call, he is choosing to waste his time and money, not mine. Second, as I still remind myself in preparation for every coaching call, the call is always about my client, not about me. My job with a tardy client isn’t to be angry with him—he probably gets that from everyone else in his life. My job is to coach him on what the lateness is about for him and what it costs him in his life or his business. Third, the immediate price of anger, when it is not used as an intentional technique, is loss of rapport and effectiveness with my client. Effective accountability has to come from an objective non-judgmental place, otherwise it feels punitive instead.
If you notice yourself feeling angry with a client or after a life coaching call, analyze what happened, figure out what you need to change in yourself, and get some support from your coach if you need it. It will make your coaching and your life better.
By the way… you’re invited to claim your FREE step-by-step “Master Coach Blueprint” video toolkit. Just go HERE now to get your master coach blueprint videos.
Dorine G Kramer
JTS Advisors Strategy and Accountability Coach
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