We have all heard that the one asking the questions is the one in control of the conversation. This is particularly true when it comes to coaching and coaching questions. Learn to ask the right questions at the right time and then really, really listen, and – like magic – you will be a powerfully effective coach. Here are three reasons why this can guarantee your power – every time.
Questions Control by Requiring a Response
Just as in chess where each of your moves should require a predictable response from your opponent, your coaching questions can control the course of the coaching session. By following an open ended question with a series of pointed closed ended questions, you can keep your client moving and prevent them from avoiding areas that they may just as soon you lost track of.
Coaching Questions Are the Surest Way to Get What’s in Your Client’s Head out into the Open
Let’s not forget that the substance of your client’s issues, as well as the resolution of those issues lies between your client’s ears. Without good questions you are lost. If they are not willing to talk, you are left in the dark. If your client is willing to talk, you cannot validate what it is that they are saying. Without carefully planned coaching questions, you are only guessing. Or even worse, you give into the temptation of filling the silence with your own ramblings and pontifications.
But Your Greatest Power Comes from what Happens after the Questions
That’s right. Your greatest power comes after the questions. Your greatest power comes from listening, really listening. This is because most of us are starved for the acknowledgement of our humanity that comes during sincere and attentive listening. This is so much the case that most of the rapport that we achieve with our clients – rapport that is necessary to our helping our clients – comes only through active listening, which of course comes only after the artful use of coaching questions.
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Dave Iuppa
JTS Advisors Strategy and Accountability Coach
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