Coaching Competency: Lessons From the Sweat Lodge Tragedy

We would not have expected law of attraction guru James Ray’s coaching competency to be anything less than stellar. He has years of experience; he contributed to the popular book, The Secret; and he even appeared on Oprah. People have paid thousands of dollars for his programs. And then three people died on his watch, trying to change their lives in a sweat lodge. So how much damage has he done to the coaching profession? What lessons can we learn?

Coaching competency requires proper use of authority

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Authority is a powerful motivator in the human psyche. A famous study run by a psychology professor named Milgram showed that ordinary people would go to extreme lengths of physical and emotional pain in order to obey an authority figure. As coaches we are automatically in a position of authority with our clients. Coaching competency demands us to vary our behavior depending on what is needed in any given situation. But our clients follow our lead and take direction from us, simply because we are in the position of authority in the relationship.

You’ve no doubt heard the aphorism, “with great authority comes great responsibility.” For coaches, that might translate to a question of how far is too far to push a client. A part of coaching competency is to always know the answer to that question. James Ray either forgot to consider it or got the answer wrong, and three people died.

The road to Hell…..

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All coaches want to reach a high level of coaching competency. Many aspire to become famous enough and well regarded enough to be gurus. James Ray actually did that. But then what? Did Ray stop caring because his ego grew along with his status as a guru? Or did he assume he was competent to use the Native American rituals of spirit quest and sweat lodge without due diligence in learning how to do them safely, for the same reason? Or in this case, was the road to hell paved with good intentions which somehow went wrong?

Ray is not the only guru who uses potentially dangerous activities in his personal growth retreats. Just a few days ago, I walked on a bed of 2000 degree hot coals at Tony Robbins UPW training. But we spent hours preparing by hydrating, getting into state, and absorbing intense training. We had lots of supervision, and the vast majority of us walked the coals with no injury at all.

For every coach, guru or not, coaching competency demands genuine care for your clients as individuals. It can’t be about you, how great you are, or how much you know. It has to be about your client and what your client needs. In your position of authority, total focus on your client implies responsibility in what you demand or expect.

James Ray is a cautionary tale for coaches. I hope his lack of coaching competency will not do long term damage to the coaching profession. Do you think it will?

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Dorine G Kramer
JTS Advisors Certified Strategy and Accountability Coach