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Who Needs a Relationship Coach? Are Women More Likely to Pay Your Relationship Coach Salary?

March 11, 2010 By Jeffrey T. Sooey 1 Comment

If you want to become a relationship coach, you need to market to women.  Sure you can market to men as well, but in most homes women are the emotional leaders.  And it will ultimately be up to them to decide if they want to pay your relationship coach salary.  Even if they say they have to check with their husbands.  Most relationship coaches in the U.S. will agree that husbands just want their wives to be happy.  Unfortunately many of them have given up.  They don’t think anything will make a difference to their relationship long term; even hiring you and paying a moderate relationship coach salary.

Work Through Wives to Help Regain a Sense of Hope For Your Relationship Coach Clients

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So how do you as a relationship coach get men to regain their sense of hope?  The easiest way is to work through the wife.  She is the one with the higher drive for love and connection, and is more likely to be in enough pain to see you as the only way to living happily ever after.  If you have the tools to be able to prove that in your initial session, she will happily pay your relationship coach salary and do what needs to be done.

In Order to Pay Your Relationship Coach Salary it is Essential to Ask Wives to do One Simple Thing

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What kind of hoops does a relationship coach have to get women to jump through to get their men to fall in love with them again?  Controversial as this may sound, it’s not about dressing up or dressing down.  The key is to get your clients to treat their husbands as their hero.  “That’s ridiculous” you might say, “No one is going to pay a relationship coach salary for that type of Pollyanna type of advise.”  But as it is frequently said, what you focus on will increase.  Have your relationship coach clients focus, and reward what is great.

Become a Relationship Coach That Gets Clients to Ask the Hard Questions

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If you can get your relationship coach clients to find out what their husbands really want, and find a way to deliver it to them; the relationship will transform.  Does that sound sales-like?  Sure, but how often have you heard people say something to the effect, “I worked for four hours cooking this meal; the least you could do is wash the dishes.”  Did that person really want the elaborate meal?  Or would it been even more valuable to have time together?  It would be like someone painting your house orange without asking you, then charging you $5000.  These are the tough conversations that make your relationship coach salary worth paying.

But what really makes you valuable as a relationship coach is to help your clients get their needs met at a higher level then they are currently getting met.  What people say they want, is usually based on a much deeper need.  And finding solutions that will help your clients get their needs met will make your relationship coach salary seem small compared to the value they receive.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Bi-Designated Strategy and Accountability Coach

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What a Relationship Coach Must Never Do: The Key to Increasing Your Relationship Coach Salary

September 7, 2009 By Jeffrey T. Sooey 3 Comments

The key to success as a relationship coach is to provide results, and your relationship coach salary depends on it.  If you can take a couple from the brink of divorce into a loving relationship your provide a priceless service.  And your relationship coach salary should reflect that. Think of all the money you can save a couple in legal fees, lifestyle changes running two separate households, and not to mention the emotional turmoil for each party. However, there are 3 things you must never do as a relationship coach.

A Relationship Coach that Provides a Priceless Service Must NEVER Take Sides

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The first thing you should never do as a relationship coach is to take sides.  This sounds reasonable, but it’s harder to put into practice when you are only coaching one half of the problem.  Let’s face it, it can be tough not to buy into your client’s story if that’s the only reference you’re hearing.  But if you fall for that, you’re no better than a friend and few people will feel that contributing to your relationship coach salary is necessary.

Your Relationship Coach Salary Depends on You Getting to the Bottom of Your Client’s Problem but Not Solving it For Your Client

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The next thing you must never do as a relationship coach is to try to solve your client’s problem.  Remember that your client’s basic needs are being met by being in this predicament.  Find out what’s the payoff and help them meet their needs at a higher level by giving them some empowering alternatives.  For example, what if your client is trying to get significance from the relationship by being angry and bitter when all they want is love and connection?  If you start trying to solve your client’s problems, you will never be the one person who can really make a lasting difference.  Finding out their beliefs, language patterns, and how they physically express themselves will, not only make you stand above the rest, but also justify your relationship coach salary.

Become a Relationship Coach that Does More than Just Listen, Instead Direct the Conversation in Order to Make Progress

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The last thing you must never do as a relationship coach, if you want to receive a relationship coach salary, is to just listen to your client’s story.  Many good relationship coaches fall for this and get caught up in this trap.  These coaches complain that their clients ”Just talk and I can’t seem to break in without seeming rude or uncaring.”  You are the leader, and if your client is taking you on an exursion without a destination it is your responsidblty to bring your client back.  The moment you start asking yourself, “Where is this going?”  start clarifying and seek to really understand what is behind this smoke screen.

If you can avoid these 3 pitfalls, you will not only have success as a relationship coach but you’ll be able to command a respectable relationhsip coach salary.  Remember that you’re the leader and you can make a powerful diffence.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach

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How to Become a Relationship Expert: The Best Way to Increase Your Relationship Coach Salary

June 26, 2009 By Jeffrey T. Sooey 4 Comments

I don’t have any secrets to how to become a relationship expert, except through real life experience.  It’s not the fastest or easiest way, but it is the best way to increase your relationship coach salary.  Any other way will be an empty victory if you don’t know how to become a relationship expert in your own life.  If you can do that, you can command whatever relationship coach salary you like.

How to Become a Relationship Expert By Looking at Your Relationships

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The first step of how to become a relationship expert is to take inventory of your own relationships, and how they are working.  Be honest and ruthless with yourself.  Don’t just try to look good so you can justify your relationship coach salary.  Look at your relationships with your spouse, business partners, friends, family, in-laws and out-laws.  How are you doing?  Which relationships are working, and which aren’t?  Which can be improved, and how?

Relationship Coach Salary Isn’t Your Only Need

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The next step of how to become a relationship expert is to determine what the motivating factors in each of these relationships are.  The four basic needs that drive our behaviors are significance, love and connection, certainty, and variety.  Are you trying to get your needs met for significance from your family?  Or would your family be a better vehicle for getting love and connection?  Are you trying to get your needs met for love and connection from your employees?  Is that working for you, or is there an alternative?  What’s keeping you from changing?  A friend of mine always says, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.”  Are you afraid to take the risk and loose what certainty you have if you try to improve these relationships?   I warned you that this was not the fast track to increasing your relationship coach salary.

How to Become a Relationship Expert by Examining Your Goals

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The next step in how to become a relationship expert is to really look at your life and the effect your relationships have on the overall quality of your life.  We’re not even thinking about your relationship coach salary at this point.  What will your life look like in a year from now if you fail to make changes?  Five years from now?  What will your life look like when you are on your death bed, powerless to make the changes that are possible now?  Make this picture as real and painful as it needs to be to really feel the effect of not making the most of your relationships and what it’s costing you.  Now look at your life as it will be when you make improvements to your relationships.  One year from now, five years from now, 20 years from now.  Again you must paint this picture so clearly that you feel how great it will be.  This will provide leverage and motivation to get you through the final step.

How Wisdom Can Boost Your Relationship Coach Salary

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The key to success in how to become a relationship expert is now to use that leverage and take consistent actions over time to improve your relationships.  Take life coach training courses, relationship coaches training, read books, take seminars, but above all you need to apply what you learn.  See what results you’re getting, and refine your actions accordingly.  As you struggle to improve your relationships you will not only learn which leads to knowledge; but you will know how to apply that knowledge, which leads to wisdom.  And that type of wisdom will be sought out and rewarded handsomely in your relationship coach salary.  But beyond that, you will also experience the richness of having successful relationships.  And that is priceless.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Accountability Coach

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