If you’re not coming from a superior posture as a relationship coach, it doesn’t matter what you say.  You could use the fanciest technology, but people won’t even hear you.  In their mind you’re not the one to listen to.  The good news is that at the beginning people will give you some attention for free, without you being an authority.  There’s time to figure out how to become a relationship expert in their eyes.

As a New Relationship Coach You Can Become a Resource to Your Prospects

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There are ways how to become a relationship expert, even if you’re just starting out as a relationship coach.  One way is to become a resource to your prospects.  When you give information away and it’s new to them; it’s valuable.  Especially if that information is relatively rare and not easily found.   You want to make sure that the information you give is the best you have.  Sure, you run the risk that people might just take the information and move on.  But most people won’t be able to implement it on their own.  They’ll still need a relationship coach.

Name Dropping Combined with Teaching Moments Can Help You with How to Become a Relationship Expert

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Another way how to become a relationship expert or at least position yourself as a relationship coach who knows his stuff, is by name dropping.  For example, my mentor Jeff Sooey, who learned from his mentor Tony Robbins, taught me that I should work on creating a raving fan out my husband by giving to him what he needed first.  Ultimately this simple strategy causes the partner to reciprocate.  The name or group carries a ton of authority with your prospect.  You don’t want to just say, “I learned how to become a relationship expert from studying with Tony Robbins.”  You need to combine the association with a teaching moment.

Relate with Your Prospects Through Stories – You Become Not Only a Relationship Coach but a Person, Too

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You can also learn how to become a relationship expert who demonstrates their knowledge through stories.  The story can be about someone you worked with or even yourself.  Communicating that before you became a relationship coach you used to be like them and that you understand their fears, hopes and desires can be very powerful if you’re living proof of a transformation.  It doesn’t have to take longer than 3-5 minutes.

The key to how to become a relationship expert is for people see you as the leader.  Even if it’s just by having a lot of comments posted on your blog.  Suddenly people start to see you as an expert.  They think, “Wow!  All these people are paying attention to what this person is saying.”  This strategy also works with public speaking and conference calls.   If you can convey valuable information to people in a way that they see you as an expert, they will just naturally see you as the relationship coach who can help them reach their goals.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Bi-Designated Strategy and Accountability Coach

Technorati Tags: How to Become a Relationship Expert, Relationship Coach

Getting to the Root of the Problem is Key for Any Relationship Coach

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The key to how to become a relationship expert is to understand that people will do anything to get their needs met.  Sometimes in a healthy and positive way, and other times it’s destructive to everything around them and affects their closest relationships.  If you want to become a relationship coach who gets to the root of the problem and really transforms lives, just follow this five-step process.

When You Think About How to Become a Relationship Expert Think About this Five-Step Process

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How to Become a Relationship Expert Step 1:  Diagnosis

The first step as a relationship coach is to understand the whole picture in terms of where people are getting their basic needs met.  These basic needs are Certainty or Safety, Significance, Love & Connection, and Variety.  Whatever people are doing, they are doing it because they are getting their needs met.  For example, a rage-oholic gets his or her needs met for significance.  People around them get their own needs for certainty met by walking on eggshells around the rage-oholic.  People who are always angry with their spouse are getting their needs met for significance, but probably aren’t getting their needs met at a very high level for love and connection.  They key to finding the diagnosis is to identify which of which of your clients’ needs are not getting met by their current behavior.

How to Become a Relationship Expert Step 2:  Leverage

The next step as a relationship coach is to help your clients’ associate massive pain if they don’t change and massive pleasure if you do.  Make the decision to change an obvious solution.  You can also find out what leverage they’ve used in the past to make other life changes.  Find out what they did, how they felt, and what they said to themselves to help make that change and use that information to help move them forward again.

How to Become a Relationship Expert Step 3:  Conditioning

The next step is to recondition your clients’ old beliefs.  Use your relationship coach tools and give them affirmations, strategies, and different experiences to shift their beliefs, language patterns, and even the posture and physiology of their bodies.

How to Become a Relationship Expert Step 4:  Empowering Alternative

The next step as a relationship coach is to offer an alternative way of getting their four basic survival needs met at a higher level, more often, and in a way that benefits others.  They may find that instead of getting angry they can get their needs met for love and connection by talking to their spouse instead of demanding significance.

How to Become a Relationship Expert  Step 5:  Peer Group

The final step that is often overlooked by the average relationship coach is to change the peer group.  If your client is hanging out with friends who complain about their spouses, it will be hard to make lasting changes.  We are really the average of our five closest friends.

By Implementing this Five-Step Process You Will See Your Relationship Coach Clients Make Great Strides Improving Their Relationships

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With these five steps you can transform yourself from an ordinary relationship coach to someone who knows how to become a relationship expert.  And while it might look complicated, once you get the diagnosis the rest will fall into place.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach

Technorati Tags: How to Become a Relationship Expert, Relationship Coach

If you really want to know how to become a relationship expert, there are two ways: the fast and easy way, or the long and hard way. If you are already a relationship coach, or want to become a relationship coach sometime in the near future, I recommend the fast way, just like ripping a bandage off your elbow. Once you commit to doing it, how to become a relationship expert can happen faster than you imagine.

How to Become a Relationship Expert: Push Your Clients to Decide What they Want in a Relationship

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There are 3 keys to how to become a relationship expert. The first step is to be a relationship coach who gets their clients to decide what they really want. For example if your client really wants to be in a married relationship, she needs to make her spouse the most important person in her life. Not her career, not the kids. Loving the kids and putting them first is easy. They need her. Loving her spouse means living with a certain amount of uncertainty. But that lack of certainty also provides a lot more variety in the relationship and when the kids eventually leave the house, she will still have the relationship with her spouse.

Become a Relationship Coach that Convinces Clients to Commit to the 90 Day Challenge

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The next key to how to become a relationship expert is to have your clients commit to the 90 day challenge. This is huge in becoming a relationship coach who can motivate your clients to any undertaking. Basically, you will have your clients commit to showing their spouse how important they are, in a way that they appreciate, for three months. Not that it takes that long for your clients to start seeing a difference, but by that time they have so much momentum that it will carry them through long term. And wouldn’t most of your clients do whatever it takes to reach one of their ultimate goals in less than three months?

In Discovering How to Become a Relationship Expert Make Sure Your Clients Know They Are Responsible for Change

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The final key to how to become a relationship expert is to make it clear to your clients that it is up to them individually to make the change. If you are a relationship coach to only one of the partners, then it is imperative that you create the right mind set to accomplish the goal. It rarely works for one of the partners to say to the other, “Let’s both do this.” The other person might not be enrolled until he or she starts experiencing the results, but someone has to go first.

With these three keys to how to become a relationship expert, you can start making a difference right away. If you have what it takes to become a relationship coach who is ready to take a strong stance for the well being of your clients, then the results you produce will speak for themselves.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach

Technorati Tags: How to Become a Relationship Expert, Relationship Coach