Have you ever thought if of becoming a relationship coach for a family?  It’s not uncommon to be a relationship coach for couples or business partners.  But for the whole family including children, in-laws, parents, aunts and uncles?  It sounds like a daunting task.  But as you think about it, can you imagine all the family gatherings that could be transformed with the help of a relationship coach?  And becoming a relationship coach for the whole family doesn’t mean you need everyone together. The dynamics of the group can usually be changed through one or two people who are willing to make a difference.  What if you coached several key people to become relationship coaches within their own family?  Here are some strategies.

Becoming a Relationship Coach For Families is Worthwhile if you Can Help Your Clients Find Common or Complimentary Goals

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Relationship Coach Strategy #1:  Help your clients find common or complimentary goals.

Have you ever noticed how even the most families pull together in times of crisis.  Instead of making 3 or more totally different lives work together, sharing a common goal can also bring more unity.  Why not make a family gathering into a goal?  Becoming a relationship coach can be as simple as having people get together and share which outcomes are most important for the gathering.  Aunt Sara wants to make sure the food is good and Uncle Paul wants to make sure he gets his favorite dessert.  My brother wants to make sure he doesn’t miss the football game.  By identifying which aspects are most important to each person, each person can get at least their top need met.

As You Work With Your Relationship Coach Clients Help Them Find Their Strengths

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Relationship Coach Strategy #2:  Work with people’s strengths.

You wouldn’t have grandma move the extra table and chairs up from the basement by herself, but no one wants to interrupt uncle Harry from his beloved football game.  If you plan ahead so he won’t miss out on the game, he might really like to be the hero and do the heavy work.  Instead of having the kids stay out of the way, find ways they can contribute.  Even very young children can make special placecards for the family table, and find great satisfaction when their work is displayed.  Becoming a relationship coach means looking for opportunities.

Becoming a Relationship Coach that Teaches Clients to Respect Others Natural Behavioral Styles Will Benefit Your Clients

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Relationship Coach Strategy #3:  Respect people’s natural behavioral styles.

Without running DISC assessments on everyone, there are still ways to identify how to bring out the best in people.  Becoming a relationship coach means communicating effectively with people while respecting their different behaviorial styles.  Some people need a lot of detail, with others they only want to hear the basics.  You don’t want to give orders to the chief, but what do you do with all of those leaders in the group?  Find out which projects they want to head up and let them head up their own teams.  There are people who can respond quickly to changes in pace, and others who will start to get stressed if you move them from one project to another without allowing them to adequately complete the first task.

Becoming a relationship coach for an entire family can be very rewarding.  By teaching your clients some basic relationship coach strategies you can really leverage the benefit you provide to others without having a large conference call.  And the effect of a few people who want to make a difference can be very inspirational.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach

Technorati Tags: Becoming a Relationship Coach, Relationship Coach

Becoming a relationship coach requires a lot of skills and knowledge, but if you know the 4 R’s of ruined relationships becoming a relationship coach will be a lot easier.  Knowing these stages will not only help identify which stages are occurring in a relationship, but will help you warn clients of the next stages that will follow unless something changes.  Running from the relationship is not usually the answer, because you take you with you.  But sometimes a relationship coach can make a huge difference even when a couple is constantly in a battle or even worse, repression.  Become a relationship coach who can help people understand the pattern of destruction and guide them onto a path toward intimacy.  A certain guru refers to these as the “4 R’s That Ruin Relationships.”

Becoming a Relationship Coach Who Understands the Effects of Resistance is Key

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The first stage of the R’s that ruin relationships is Resistance.  Becoming a relationship coach who recognizes this stage can prevent a lot of pain.  An experienced relationship coach will quickly identify this stage.  What typically happens is that someone says something or does something that you think ‘Oh, I wish they wouldn’t say or do that.’  But most people stay quiet and over months or years, the pain escalates.

A Relationship Coach Who Misses the First Stage Will Eventually See Escalation

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If a relationship coach fails to identify the first stage, things escalate.  The next stage is Resentment.  Becoming a relationship coach who can identify this stage is fairly simple.  The resistance is coupled with anger to some degree, and by now that person is probably bringing up this problem to their friends, family, whoever will listen.

Rejection Is Where Many Begin Becoming a Relationship Coach

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If at all possible you want to avoid becoming a relationship coach whose clients continue along this path of destruction and enter the Rejection stage.  This is the most common stage people seek help from a relationship coach.  The undertone of relationship is ‘Why did you do that to me?’  At this stage people start looking like an idiot because they react to all of the stacked incidences of the past.  Their partner might do something very small, but with all the cumulative past pain the reaction is not appropriate for the circumstances.  By this stage, their partner has begun the Resistance Stage and which will likely lead to resentment.

A Relationship Coach May Never See the Fourth Stage

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If the couple doesn’t break up, the next stage is Repression.  It’s hard to sustain passion with anger in the way, and couples tend to resort to being roommates.  They are not likely to seek a relationship coach at this stage because by this time people have settled.  Their spouse is their associate.  Their passion goes into their work, sports, and friends.  This is comfort and stability, but it certainly isn’t fulfillment.  Becoming a relationship coach for people at any of these stages is about providing strategy for people to re-create the passion and vision they once knew.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach

Technorati Tags: Becoming a Relationship Coach, Relationship Coach

The key to becoming a relationship coach is understanding masculine and feminine energy.  Of course men and women have a little of both types.  Becoming a relationship coach who understands the 3 levels of a relationship will help you understand what drives people.  This relationship coach training will take you beyond the basics.

Tips for Becoming a Relationship Coach #1: The Macho Man

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The first level is the macho man.  You don’t have to be a relationship coach to recognize this type.  He wants it, he creates it, he goes after it, and doesn’t care about anything else.  This is the stereotypical ‘bad boy’.  And it’s attractive to a lot of women for a reason.  Becoming a relationship coach who understands that masculine energy creates a polarity with a woman who is feminine will help you explain why some women keep going back to this type of guy.  It’s because she knows she can’t control him and that’s exciting.  He’s not always right but he’s powerful, he’s not always elegant but he’s powerful.  He’s all about himself and he’s ok with that.  He’s not going to become a relationship coach client.

Tips for Becoming a Relationship Coach #2: Why Men Change

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In the process of becoming relationship coach you will understand that if you want a man to change, then change the woman he wants to be with.  A man’s greatest desire is to be with a real woman, someone who is feminine.  It’s their ultimate goal.  And as women grew in their power in our in our society, men realized that they were going to have to grow beyond their macho man state.  In the 70’s men starting reading books and possibly even seeking out a relationship coach in order to find a way to connect with woman.  They started taking yoga and eating quiche.

Tips for Becoming a Relationship Coach #3:  The Sensitive Man

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Thus the new, sensitive, conscious man emerged.  He embraced love and could enjoy his feminine side.  And women embraced it.  It was so wonderful that no one could imagine hiring a relationship coach.  But in becoming a relationship coach you learned to see the writing on the wall.  There was no polarity here; it was like having a girl friend.  And eventually women got bored with this and wanted more.  So what did they do?   They went back to the exciting macho man, leaving the sensitive man worrying that this guy wouldn’t treat her right.

Tips for Becoming a Relationship Coach #4: The Third Alternative

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Here’s where becoming a relationship coach becomes exciting.  Because you know as a relationship coach there is a third alternative.  This is the man who takes control and makes it happen, but also listens, respects and values what is important to his woman.  He doesn’t do it for his own gain.  He does it for the love he has for the woman in his life so she doesn’t have to do it.  The problem is that few men will own this as a choice, because they are used to being feminine and trying to please the woman in their life.  And few women will really realize that in allowing the man in their life to be masculine and not trying to control him, they will enjoy the benefits of a relationship with masculine and feminine polarity.  And that’s the basis for excitement will last.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach

Technorati Tags: Becoming a Relationship Coach, Relationship Coach