In our first article about the 3 biggest problems with life coaching and the different techniques coaches use to overcome them, we covered the stigma of being the ‘friend’ first rather than the ‘coach’ first in a coaching relationship.  When you are looking at the kinds of issues coaching clients seem to have with the coaching and results they are getting, it usually comes down to NOT being coached intensely enough or not getting the results (usually as a result of lack of intense participation from the coach, or a lack of the right style from the coach).  This article will continue on raising a higher understanding of how to get your clients out from under the 3 biggest problems with life coaching.  Now, let’s get into the 2 other problems and the different techniques coaches use to get around them….

Life Coaching Problem #2 of The 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching: Only Using the Different Techniques Coaches Use by Being Non-Directive (All The Time)

One of the 3 biggest problems with life coaching is using non-directive techniques all the time.  It can be good to let your client direct the conversation, direct themselves, and ‘find their own answers’, there’s no doubt about that.  One of the most important lessons I learned from Tony Robbins about coaching is that “when you tell your client something, then they doubt it, but when you can get your client to tell you something, then they automatically believe it’s true”.  That’s really part of the basis of good salesmanship.  Inside of the different techniques coaches use, however, there are very directive techniques that can cause a client to take action, get the answer more quickly, or simply follow the path you wanted them to follow as a result of resisting your direction! 

Life Coaching Problem #2 of The 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching: Coach Being Too Much of a Guru (and The Different Techniques Coaches Use to Avoid Getting ‘Guru Screwed’)

When a coach is more of a guru type (meaning that they have a large following of dedicated clients that have ‘blind faith’ in what the guru says being true), people tend to put the guru on a pedestal.  The 3 biggest problems with life coaching are reflective of a common problem that people have (I’ll get to that later), but the guru has so much sway with their followers that sometimes they don’t have the faith in themselves to follow the direction or coaching the guru offers.  You must be aware of the different techniques coaches use to steer clear of the guru stigma.  Clients believe that the solutions that the guru provides would work just fine for the guru, but that ‘my situation is different, and I’m not the guru’.  In fact the whole ‘guru thing’ exists by virtue of everyone that follows the guru is NOT quite the guru!  The funny thing is that the guru usually knows that this is hogwash, but even if they try to convince their followers of that fact, the followers won’t get it.  The different techniques that coaches use to get beyond this problem include confessing your own shortcomings in a story (i.e. even gurus are people too…), putting the client up on a pedestal (yes, even YOU can be a GURU…), and challenging the client (prove to me that you aren’t crappy…).  

The 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching Come From The Client Not Taking Full Responsibility for Their Own Problems.  The Different Techniques Coaches Use Must Address This Pattern

At some level, you contribute to every problem you’ve got, and even the problems that are exceptions to that rule don’t justify trying to get around the importance of just being responsible for everything in your life.  It’s not to say that ‘everything’s your fault’, it’s just that when a client takes responsibility, they start to take back control.  When a client becomes responsible (response – ABLE… ABLE to RESPOND), they stop being a victim and they now have the ability to truly change things.  The 3 biggest problems with life coaching all revolve around coaches not addressing this fundamental key to client problems.  The different techniques coaches use to get around this issue of responsibility are important for every coach to learn and master.

Jeffrey T. Sooey
CEO, JTS Advisors
Founder, Coaches Training Blog Community

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3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching, Different Techniques Coaches Use 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching, Different Techniques Coaches Use

If you knew what the 3 biggest problems with life coaching were, you’d be quite surprised.  No matter what people say their problems are, and no matter what the personal development ‘gurus’ say about the problems with success and life, the different techniques coaches use to overcome life problems have been varied.  Some of these different techniques coaches use are effective and some aren’t.  When I first became a life coach, I found that I couldn’t help the majority of my clients.  It was really disheartening.  Here I am, supposed to be the ‘life coach’ that is going to solve your problems and help you get the results that are eluding you, and instead you drop a lot of coin and have nothing to show for it but time on the phone with me.

The 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching are All Based Upon the Fact That, Even With The Different Techniques Coaches Use, People Don’t Look at Themselves as The Source of Their own Problems

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Soon after the realization that I wasn’t effective as a coach, I closed the doors to my coaching practice and revamped the entire thing.  That’s also when I learned (by the school of hard knocks, mind you) the 3 biggest problems with life coaching (at least the 3 biggest problems with life coaching as I served it).  I was also lucky enough to be a part of a community of coaches at the time that showed me the different techniques coaches use to overcome the problems that I was experiencing (and needed badly to overcome if I was going to stay in business for much longer).

Life Coaching Problem #1 of The 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching: Coach Being a ‘Friend’ (and The Different Techniques Coaches Use to Stop The ‘Friend Trap’)

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Coaches many times create one of the 3 biggest problems with life coaching by being too much of a friend too much of the time.  Your #1 job as a coach is not to be your client’s friend.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t be a friend at all, it simply means that it is not your #1 priority, and frankly sometimes being a friend is the worst role to take on with your coaching clients.  Some of the different techniques coaches use take you way out of friend mode and make you the drill-sergeant, angel (or devil) on your coaching client’s shoulder, psychologist, or chief antagonist / provocateur.  Would you think it’s your job as a coach at times to simply bully your client?  Sometimes that’s EXACLY the right action to take with your client (if you know what you’re doing and how to work through the tension you create).

Avoid the 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching By Using the Different Techniques Coaches Use to Stop Being a Friend and Start Being a Coach

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When you are a friend first and a coach second (at least during coaching sessions), you will limit your effectiveness as a coach.  The 3 biggest problems with life coaching all are similar to this ‘friend’ issue and you must learn the different techniques coaches use to overcome it.  If you stop being a friend and start being a coach at the right times in your coaching sessions, you’re clients will surprise you by thanking you profusely for your honesty and ‘tough love’ and you’ll find that they are more your friend than they ever were before.

Jeffrey T. Sooey
CEO, JTS Advisors
Founder, Coaches Training Blog community

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3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching, Different Techniques Coaches Use 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching, Different Techniques Coaches Use

What are the 3 biggest problems with life coaching and how do you become a coach who is prepared to handle any challenge?  The 3 biggest problems with life coaching are not knowing where you are in your path, not knowing your destination, and not having a clear, detailed plan.  Most coaches have one or two of these items covered, but unless all three are mastered the challenges faced on your path to become a coach are likely to throw you off course.  

The First of the 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching: Not Knowing Your Strengths and Weaknesses 

The first of the 3 biggest problems with life coaching is lack of clarity about your strengths and weaknesses as a coach.  If you don’t know what you don’t know, how are you going to learn?  Become a coach who can look at your weaknesses as opportunities for growth, instead of letting your weaknesses discourage you.  Much like a butterfly is able to fly because of the muscles it builds while working to break out of its cocoon, overcoming our weakness and challenges makes us stronger.

The Second of the 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching: Not Knowing Where You Are Going 

Lack of clarity about where you want to be is the second of the 3 biggest problems with life coaching.  Become a coach who is clear about your ultimate vision and purpose.  Most people have some ideas, but you need your goals to be detailed and in writing.  This part of the process takes more time and soul searching than most people are willing to invest.

The Third of the 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching:  Not Knowing How to Get There

The third of the 3 biggest problems with life coaching is lack of a detailed plan.  Most coaches and small businesses run without a business plan.  Some small business owners are so busy working in their business that they fail to take time to work on their business.  Michael Gerber’s The E-Myth explains the key ingredients to developing a prosperous small business.  This book is a great resource for anyone wanting to become a coach.  If you don’t become a coach who knows how to run your business; your business will run you.

Awareness is the first step to overcoming the 3 biggest problems with life coaching.  Now, you are ready to start developing a plan; your detailed map of how to get from where you are to where you want to be, as well as the strategy to make it happen.  By taking the time to complete this process, you will become a coach who is prepared to weather any storm.

Colette Seymann

JTS Advisors Designated Accountability Coach

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3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching, Become a Coach 3 Biggest Problems With Life Coaching, Become a Coach