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Does Relationship Coaching Encompass Sex Coaching?

September 17, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I recently joined a third-party website to promote my relationship coaching services. It is a good platform to earn money on coaching services and I have found two new clients in the past month. Not bad for starting out.

However, I believe some of these people are confused as to what relationship coaching actually is. I received several phone calls from people wanting to tell me their deep, dark secrets about fantasies and how their innate need to please themselves may be interfering in their relationships. Of course, a couple of individuals were not even in a relationship, nor were they interested in receiving help with dating.

Relationship Coaching

A relationship coach helps men and women discover what they may be doing wrong in their current relationship, or lack thereof, and devise a plan to make their relationship dreams come true. A dating and relationship coach helps people with getting over a break up, understand dating mistakes that are keeping them from meeting people, and discovering new or old ways to enrich their current relationships. Through relationship coaching, a person may even realize that he is unhappy in his current relationship and realize it is time to move on from a toxic partnership.

Sex Coaching or Counseling?

After receiving calls from some rather confused people (made me a tad uncomfortable), I decided to do a quick Google search. As I imagined, there are tons of websites currently offering sex coaching services. As a matter of fact, the site where I have my listing offers many licensed therapists and counselors who specialize in the “sex therapy” field.

All this leads me to question, “Does relationship coaching encompass sex coaching and should it?”

NO.

I am not quite sure what a “sex coach” is. However, I assumed and confirmed in my search, many sex coaches are in fact licensed professionals. During my coach certification training I remember being told that I must know when it is time to refer a client to seek the help of a licensed professional. I also believe we can or should be able to recognize when this needs to happen.

If a client says that he has been turned on in the past by simply speaking to his therapist, I would bet my coaching career that a relationship coach (or a sex coach for that matter) is not what the client seeks or needs. Once such a clue has emerged, is this not the time to refer him to a licensed professional who is trained and educated to deal with this type of situation?

In the end, there is obviously a demand for sex coaching. However, it is surely apparent that this is a distinct and separate niche from that of dating or relationship coaching.

 

Eda M. Handly
Certified Dating & Relationship Coach
Guest Writer, Coaches Training Blog community

 

About Eda M. Handly 

Eda M. Handly is a freelance writer and Certified Life Coach specializing in dating and relationships. She began counseling victims of domestic violence in 2004 as an advocate through the Erie County Prosecutor’s Office and has been helping people ever since. Handly is also an advice columnist and owner and creator of the dating and relationship advice website www.love-sources.com.

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Becoming a Life Coach to Make a Difference

September 10, 2011 By Leave a Comment

When people get stuck and confused about the direction they’re going in their lives, how in the world does becoming a life coach make it possible to make any difference in their desperate quest?

Who Benefits From Life Coaching?

It’s part of human nature to query who we are and where are we going. Depending on where we find ourselves in our lives when asking those questions, these questions can be overwhelming, even intimidating. People yearn for balance in their lives. They want their lives to reflect the core values that they feel they have in their souls and their hearts. When these core beliefs appear to be in misalignment, or out of balance, people often get frustrated. They feel stuck, powerless.

We live in a complicated, fast-paced, multi-tasking world. Managing the intricate priorities of that world….family, relationships, work, health, marriage….can cause a disharmony in life balance. Issues could come from business (no job, or an unsatisfying job or career), relationships with family, spouse, or no relationship. Becoming a life coach positions you to be accessible and prepared to help people find their way back to balance.

Even if things are going well, the sense of not having followed their passion (a dream left unfulfilled) can lead to a sense of dis-ease. They resent the ones closest to them. They have problems at work, at home, or in health.

We don’t live in a perfect world. People find it’s not possible to figure things out by themselves. Most find themselves at a loss to cope when faced with the complexities of their daily lives, especially when their lives fall out of balance with who they really are.

How Becoming a Life Coach Works For The Client

When you become a life coach, it enables you to help clients focus on the goals and values they feel are important to them, and to make a difference in their lives. On the other hand, if your client has either lost sight of his goals and values, or they feel just out of reach, you, as the coach, can help them rediscover those goals.

Coaching is a relatively new concept of helping people who are at a crossroads, and feel the need for help in finding the direction they want to travel. It is a collaborative effort between coach and client, and becoming a life coach is an incredibly effective and helpful way to focus, inspire and motivate the client to follow through on his desires and goals. As a life coach, not only can you make a difference in a client’s life, but you can also make a substantial income in the process.

By becoming a life coach, you learn the skills that will help people identify their dreams, their goals, and help them find the solutions that will get them to achieve their dreams and goals. A coach will also help the client identify what’s missing, and help in figuring out how to get it, or how to make peace with the missing piece.

Becoming a life coach provides the skill to help your client focus on what they are tolerating or coping with, to identify what is creating the disharmony in their life…. the distance between what they expect and need for their life, and what their life looks like now.

Becoming a therapist and practicing therapy is very different from becoming a life coach and coaching a client. A main difference is that therapy is geared more toward the client’s past wounds. Life coaching looks at all the areas in the client’s life….their actions, thoughts, relationships, health, career, spirituality, etc. By a cooperative endeavor, a life coach inspires and motivates the client to bring their life into balance with who they say they are or who they want to be.

Beate Janssen
Life Coach
Guest Writer, Coaches Training Blog community

About Beate Janssen

Beate’s passion for helping others, animals in particular, started in early childhood, when she saw how neglect and abuse caused the death of a small kitten She saw the stunned silence that ensued and people’s need to disassociate themselves from such a violent, invasive act. She has observed similar situations in families with elderly parents.

She now channels that passion for helping others by working with people to find solutions to these pressing issues. Whether the feelings and issues are related to someone’s beloved aging parent, or their beloved pet, Beate works with her clients to bring harmony, communication and connection back into their lives.

She enjoys writing at her Santa Rosa Beach home, where she is finishing her book, The Joy of Giving Back: Caring in Action.

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Coaching Certification: How Important is it?

September 3, 2011 By 1 Comment

Depending on whom you ask, some would say that coaching certification is important to have, while others would say that it isn’t. When considering your options, there are questions that you might want to ask yourself and then based on your answers decide whether pursing that particular designation is needed right now, or can be pursed later.

Why Do I Need to Have Coaching Certification?

One word:

Credibility

Many would argue that you cannot possibly operate this type of business unless you have completed a coaching certification program. Depending on where you get this designation, there may be some level of prestige and benefits attached to being certified.

For example, one of the more popular organizations to offer coaching certification is the International Coach Federation (ICF). They have 3-levels –

1. Associate Certified Coach (ACC)

2. Professional Certified Coach (PCC)

3. Master Certified Coach (MCC)

All these designations are very impressive, but here’s the catch, you must have a certain number of client hours in order to apply, plus, there are application and examination fees to consider. Make sure you do your research to determine the right program for you. Finally, remember that ‘credibility’ does not come from having a piece of paper.

Can I Start my Own Coaching Practice Without Certification?

Can you just skip your initial certification for coaching and just get started with your coaching business?

YES

Everyday people from different industries such as mental health, human resources, sales or business development, decide that they want to coach and hang their shingle without announcing “Hey, I’m coaching certified!”

Instead, they draw on the experiences they have acquired in their specific field. They most likely have experience interacting with people on various levels, and perhaps have been commended for the way they can hone in on the specific issues, and more importantly that people find it very easy to talk to them about their concerns.

You’ll find that anyone who provides coaching does it because that is their passion, and they possess the skill and knowledge to do the job. Don’t wait until you have acquired certification before you start your practice – of course, follow the ethical guidelines for coaches, but provide the service that others are looking for now and get your credentials later.

Will my Client Care if I am Certified or Not?

If they do and you don’t have what they are looking for, they will go to someone else. That’s ok, because the majority of individuals looking for coaching don’t care about the packaging, they care whether or not you can help them solve their problems. That’s more important to them than finding out if you are certified.

Getting certified as a coach is not crucial in the grand scheme of things, but it can be of benefit later on in your practice. Look at the process as continuing education. You get certified to hone your skills, learn and incorporate new techniques, and become part of the larger community of certified coaches.

The bottom line, coaching certification is not the be-all-end-all of your dream job. If this is your passion, don’t wait, pursue it now. As you gain more experience and want to move into training or consulting, or you have the money to get certified, then do it! This will certainly add a nice touch to the experiences and hard work you have already gained over time.

Eudine Herbert has a Master of Education Degree with a concentration in Counseling Psychology and Management. She trained and became a certified mediator through the American Center for Conflict Resolution Institute at Lakewood College, specializing in family and small business mediation. Eudine is the principal mediator at Herbert Mediation Center, where she also provides coaching for parents & teens, and couples considering divorce.  Visit the website for more information at: www.herbertmediationcenter.com

Eudine Herbert,
Certified Mediator – NACM
Guest Writer, Coaches Training Blog community

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